Starting Over Finding Your Inner Strengths NINAETC April

Starting Over: Finding Your Inner Strengths NINAETC April 27, 2010

Introductions Name What you do What do you want to start over?

What Can Happen When You Decide to Start Over?

Possible Starting Over Side-Effects Fear – stay stuck and do nothing Confusion Overwhelmed -Don’t know where to start Stress Out of balance

Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real

Take a Closer Look at Fear 1. Ask yourself, Is this true? Am I 100% certain it’s true? ” 2. Where did this fearful thought/belief come from? 3. What do I get for holding on to this thought/belief? 4. What would my life look like/feel if I wasn’t afraid?

Other sides of Starting Over Energized Positive about going for what you want Excited about possibilities Empowered

Wheel of Life • What’s missing or out of balance? • Rate each segment on a scale of 1 -10

Discussion Questions Pick one area you want to Start Over. What would you need to do to make this area a 9 or 10? How would your life be different if you had this? What is holding you back? What is the first step you have to take to achieve what you want? 6. When will you take this step? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Guided Visualization – What do you want?

Goal Setting: Roadmap to Success

Vague Goals = Vague Results

S. M. A. R. T. Goals S = Specific M = Measurable A = Alignment with your purpose R = Realistic T = Time-based

S. M. A. R. T. Goals Specific = What? Where? When? Example: I will be at my ideal weight of 150 lbs. by August 31, 2010.

S. M. A. R. T. Goals Measurable = How much? Examples: I will be at my ideal weight of 150 lbs. by August 31, 2010. I want to save $800 by December 31, 2010 for a vacation to Hawaii.

S. M. A. R. T. Goals Alignment with your Purpose = Why? Want to lower my cholesterol and blood pressure Want to have more energy for my kids Want to fit into the clothes in my closet Want to feel better I want to help my family…pay for my kids education

S. M. A. R. T. Goals Realistic = Is this goal realistic for ME? Is a loss of 2 lbs. /week realistic? Is a loss of 5 lbs. /week realistic? Can I manage $50 out of my weekly paycheck? Will working out 7 days a week really work for me? What happens when you set unrealistic goals?

S. M. A. R. T. Goals Time-Based = By when? Get as specific as possible – day, month, year Why is a timeframe important?

Write it Down S = Specific (What? Where? When? ) M = Measurable (How much? ) A = Alignment with your purpose (Why? ) R = Realistic (Realistic for YOU? ) T = Time-based (When? )

Action Plan How are you going to get there? Achieve that? What steps do you need to take? What resources do you need? Who can support you?

Action Plan - Starts with small action steps Example: On Jan. 1, 2010, I will begin saving $50 a paycheck for my kids tuition, for my vacation, for a new car, etc. Step: 1. Call my bank to sign up for payroll deductions. Example: I will lose 10 pounds by Nov. 15, 2009 to lower my blood pressure and cholesterol. I want to be around for my kids/grandkids. Steps: 1. Clean out the cupboards 2. Drink water instead of soda

More Action Step Examples Clean out the cupboards Keep a daily food diary or journal Research gyms or YMCA’s in your neighborhood Find an exercise buddy Eat at least one salad a day Increase your water intake by 2 cups (16 ounces) Schedule a physical Go to the bank to open an account Get organized - Clean off your desk or one closet

Action Steps Write two or three action steps on the back of your card Break it down to the smallest step Place a call Talk to your family or friends about supporting you Get a new exercise outfit or pedometer to motivate you Give yourself a timeframe

What are you thinking? What you think is what you get.

Power of Thoughts & Excuses Success starts in your head Self-talk affects your success Subconscious mind hears the negative messages: It’s too hard. I’ll never get this right. I don’t have enough time. It never works anyway; why bother. I’m too old, too fat, too tired…. . If it’s going to happen to anyone, it will happen to me… Life is so unfair!

The Power of Thoughts Negative thoughts = toxic thoughts Awfulizing, Catastrophizing Body becomes a battlefield for war games of the mind Thoughts are energy Watch the self-talk Thought stopping – “cancel” See a solution

Impact of Beliefs on the Body Negative thoughts = toxic thoughts Every single thought affects our cells Can lead to physical ailments Grief - lurks in the lungs, Anger - inhabits the liver Worry – held in the stomach, Fright – harbors in kidneys

Fear vs. Love Based Fear based Love based Focus on lack Not having enough Negative predictions Focus on plenty Having more than enough Positive predictions I can’t… I deserve it. I should… I could… Yes, but… I’m having fun. What if… I choose…. What’s wrong with me? I can do this. Someone else can do it, not I can handle this. me.

Reframing Your Thoughts Reframing = Seeing your challenging situations from a different perspective

Reframing Limiting Thoughts & Beliefs 1. Ask yourself, “Is this true? ” “Am I 100% certain it’s true? ” 2. “Where did this thought/belief come from? ” 3. “What do I get for holding on to this thought/belief? ” 4. What would my life look like/feel like if I didn’t have this belief or use these excuses? 5. Reappraise the situation (generate a new viewpoint) ◦ What’s the lesson? , What’s your role? , Did certain things go well? 6. Create a rational reason to change (doable & makes sense. ) ◦ Why is changing important to me?

Overcoming Fearful Thoughts Stop, breathe, and ask “what am I afraid of? ” Watch with a sense of detachment to get inner clarity Make a list of the worst things that could happen Shift attention from fear to your dreams and desires Concentrate on the reasons you want this Use affirmations

Reframing Examples Statement Reframe or New Viewpoint I’m sick of my job. I’m grateful to be employed. I’ll never get ahead. I am moving forward; Look what I have accomplished already. I really failed at this. I am a failure. I did my very best. There a lot of things I did right. I can’t afford anything any more! I do have abundance in so many ways. I can cut back; live without. I’m so “bad”; I ate the whole thing! Okay, so I went overboard. I can start over. I’m too scared. What’s the worst than can happen?

Self-Exploration to Reframe Exercise Write down your biggest fear or negative belief. 2. Answer the six questions. 3. Share with a partner. 1.

Self-Esteem When was the last time you acknowledged yourself? How many times have you succeeded in the past month? year? 10 years? Can you recall your successes as easily as any failures or missteps? Graduation, losing 5 lbs. , having a child, winning an award, landing the job, helping a friend, spending extra time with your kids, saving money, getting to work on time These add up to make you feel whole, happy, accomplished

Self-Esteem Exercise Write down three successes Write down five things you like about yourself Toot y our Ho r n!

Talk to yourself like a winner! I knew I could do it! You go girl! I am proud of myself!

Creating Affirmations Phrase in present tense, not in future Keep it positive, short, and simple Choose ones that feel right for you Suspend your doubts Can include references to spiritual source Post in house, office, car Use in combination with visualization

Examples of Positive Affirmations I am calm and relaxed. All is well; this too shall pass. I am a loveable person. I can do this! I am doing my best. I am safe and secure. I have enough time and energy to do this.

Affirmation Activity Create your own affirmation 2. You can use words like “I chose…” “I am on my way to…” 3. Share with the group (optional) 1.

Thought Shifting & Starting Over Tools Humor - Comic Relief Journaling Prayer/Meditation Breathing Gratitude Cure Disease to Please

Humor – Tickle Your Funny Bone Relaxes your body Enhances your immunity Gives you perspective Take yourself less seriously

Journaling Form of self-expression and soul searching Promotes emotional dumping Helps your immune system • Gratitude Journal • Dream Journal • Unsent Letter

Meditation/Prayer/Blessings Meditation/Prayer – Listening to God/Great Spirit 20 minutes – healing for body, mind, and spirit Blessing – sending energy of the highest to a person, country, group

The Art of Breathing Belly vs Chest Breathing Relaxes tight chest muscles Opens blood vessels Helps think clearly Stay calmer during stress AHHHHH Breath

Attitude of Gratitude Focus on gratitude vs. what went wrong Subconscious mind cannot distinguish between what’s real and your imagination What thoughts do you want marinating while you sleep? Choose the good ones – images, feelings, intentions, goals Feelings are the manifesters!

Attitude of Gratitude When you are in a state of appreciation and gratitude, you are in a state of abundance. What are you grateful for today?

Cure the Disease to Please Find time for yourself Buy Time Practice saying “no” Overcome the guilt in setting boundaries

Final Thoughts Your self-talk affects your success. Challenge negative assumptions. Reflect on past successes. Talk to yourself like a winner. Post your goals and affirmations. Re-commit every day until you reach your destination. Celebrate your successes. Success is contagious. You will empower others.

Time to Share True freedom starts with absolute honesty. The moment you admit and say the words, you’re already started the process.

Thank you! Grace Marks, MPH, CPC Certified Performance Coach & Trainer Coaching with Grace (928) 814 -3093 coachingwithgrace@gmail. com