She s Just Trying to Get Attention Ashley Lindberg

She’s Just Trying to Get Attention! Ashley Lindberg ashleyl@gmail. com

Agenda Intervention: individualized intensive interventions Universal supports: for all children through relationships environments. Prevention: targeted social emotional strategies to prevent problems.

Why Talk about Attention Seeking?

Universal Supports to Prevent Attention-getting misbehavior ¢ Science Daily Article

Reinforcement: The 5: 1 rule Gottman, J. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Relationships with tough parents Note: these are not tough parents. They are my in-laws, and they are lovely.

PBS, it’s all about relationships Build a relationship with every family Provide info about child development l Give parents a person to turn to if they are ever ready to learn more about parenting. l Help plan for the next transition. l Report suspected abuse and neglect. l

Barriers: They are not that friendly Your hardest kids probably have your hardest families. l Stuff that makes kids misbehave sometimes make adults misbehave. l Some parents are worried about your judgment, have a problem with authority, or have had past negative experiences in school. l

Solutions: They are not that friendly. l 5: 1 rule phone calls, voicemail, bravo cards, photos, certificates, awards l Face time

Barriers: They don’t have time for you Parents may be struggling with getting basic needs met. l Parents can’t get work off, don’t have transportation. l

Solutions: They don’t have time for you. l Home-visit l Meet them on their lunch break l Make plans months in advance, then give reminder calls/notes/stickers l Go out that day l Open house v. graduation

Barriers: We don’t have time for them • Many agencies don’t give staff members adequate time to build family relationships • Too much to do during the work week!

Solutions: We don’t have time for them. • Once in a while deliver a forgotten coat • More Parent-Teacher Conferences • Open house • School productions/plays • Art shows • Graduation parties • Parents come in for a class party/event, etc. • Bravo cards • Photos home • Certificates or awards

Barriers: We can’t get a hold of them! l Stupid cricket phones

Solutions: We can’t get a hold of them l My business card laminated with my photo and a magnet for fridge l Communication notebooks l Tape notes to backs l Call their emergency numbers

Barriers: We are mad at them ¢ Its hard not to judge! We love their kid and we’re mad that they are making his life hard.

Solutions: We are mad at them ¢ Everyone is doing their best with the education they have been given.

Solutions: We are mad at them ¢ You can’t darn a sock starting in the hole.

“I’m not trained for this!” A recipe for a home-visit 1. Hi! (add positive story) 2. How are you? Last time we talked about… How’s that going? 3. Encourage and build on their efforts! 4. Summarize “we have a plan. I will. . You…” Let simmer. Repeat.

Yellow Zone Prevention of Attention-Getting Misbehavior for At-Risk Kids

Prevention with At-Risk Kids ¢ Social skills preschoolers need Knowing and liking your self l Understanding and managing feelings l Making and keeping friends l

Knowing and Liking Yourself ¢ Same and different: stand up (or thumbs up or line up) if you have a sister. ¢ Permission to like/dislike things (Koplow, 2007). ¢ Read a “book” about a child

Knowing and Liking Yourself Compliments ¢ Compliments “I like the way you…” l Teach the song to the tune of Frere Jacque (I do it on instrument day): l Hello Candice How are you? Compliment a friend and we’ll clap for you!

Knowing and Liking Yourself : Jobs Ø(Pictures from Board Maker)

Knowing and Liking Yourself : Jobs ¢ Meaningful jobs help children feel responsibility and belonging l l Every child has a job? Sharing jobs?

Knowing and Liking Yourself: Songs Compliment song ¢ Head shoulders knees and toes ¢

Managing Feelings: Solve Problems Together l Have a class meeting • “Put it on the agenda” (Nelsen, et at. , 2007). • Time out was going badly: Sad coffee break l Act it out with puppets (Derman-Sparks, 1989). • Ask a child before hand if the puppet can use his problem. • Children act out positive examples. Only puppets act out negative.

Managing Feelings: Songs ¢ If you’re frustrated and you know it ask for help!

Making and Keeping Friends ¢ Making friends: l l Know the kids names (including middle and last names) • Up and down is the name of the game. l ¢ Practice finding a role (Nelsen, et at. , 2007). Keeping friends: l l What can you say when you don’t want to play? CSEFEL

Making and Keeping Friends ¢ Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning ¢ http: //www. vanderbilt. edu/csefel/

Intervention for to Attentiongetting misbehavior for top of the triangle kids.

The ABCs In this situation… get this! Antecedent I do this… Behavior to Consequence

Competing Behavior Pathway A B New Behavior C

Mistaken Goals ¢ Nelsen, J. , Erwin, C. , Duffy, R. A. , (2007). Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. New York: Three Rivers Press.

Mistaken Goals Special Service ¢ Power ¢ Revenge ¢ Assumed helplessness ¢

Special Service I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me! Annoyed Irritated Worried Guilty

Special Service I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me. Annoyed Irritated Worried Guilty We usually try: Doing things for the child that she could do herself, Reminding, Coaxing The behavior stops temporarily but later resumes

The ABCs In this situation… get I do this… to this need met! Antecedent Behavior Attention: Notice me! Involve me!

Special Service A: Avoid special service, plan special time. Set up routines. Set up a signal. B: Problem solve with the child C: Redirect with a useful task. Ignore

Misguided Power I want to be the boss! “You can’t make me” Challenged Threatened Defeated

Misguided Power I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me. Annoyed Irritated Worried Guilty We usually respond by: Fighting, Giving in, Wanting to be right Thinking “you can’t get away with this” The Child responds by: Intensifies behavior, Acts defiant

The ABCs of Misguided Power In this situation… Antecedent I do this… Behavior to get th Attention: Let me help! Give me choices!

Misguided Power A: Ask for help Offer limited choices Tell the child what you will do and do it. Develop mutual respect. B: Songs, books, social stories, Conversations where you draw at the same time. C: Be firm and kind at the same time Let routines be the boss Leave and calm down.

Revenge I don’t feel like I belong, so I’ll hurt others. I can’t be liked here. Hurt Disappointed Disbelieving Disgusted

Revenge I don’t feel like I belong, so I’ll hurt others. I can’t be liked here. Hurt Disappointed Disbelieving Disgusted We usually try: Retaliating, Getting even, Thinking “How could you do this to me? ” The Child: Retaliates/ Escalates Chooses another weapon

The ABCs of Revenge In this situation… Antecedent I do this… Behavior to get th Attention: Express that I’m hurting.

Revenge A: Build trust Use active listening Show you care, Encourage strengths B: Songs, books, social stories, Conversations where you draw at the same time C: Acknowledge hurt feelings Avoid punishment and retaliation Make amends Act-don’t talk.

Assumed Inadequacy I’m helpless and unable. It’s not worth trying because I can’t do anything right. Despair Hopelessness Helplessness Inadequate

Assumed Inadequacy I’m helpless and unable. It’s not worth trying because I can’t do anything right. Despair Hopelessness Helplessness Inadequate We usually try: Giving up, Doing for, Over helping The Child: Retreats, Acts passive No improvement/ No response

The ABCs of Assumed Inadequacy In this situation… Antecedent I do this… Behavior to get th Escape attention and tasks I could fail

Assumed Inadequacy A: Stop all criticism Encourage any positive attempt. Show faith in child’s abilities Enjoy the child. Build on his interests. B: Teach/show how. Break task down into small steps C: Don’t give up Encourage, encourage Empathize

Write the Behavior Plan!

Work with family and team List strengths and motivators • To brainstorm rewards • To make our teaching tools kid-specific • To start meetings on a positive note

Any Questions? ashleyl@gmail. com

Recommended Reading ¢ ¢ ¢ Unsmiling Faces, Lesley Koplow Positive Discipline, Jane Nelsen Unbias Curriculum, Louise Derman-Sparks Bully Proofing in Early Childhood, Kayla Mc. Carnes, Karin I. Nelson, Nancy W. Sager http: //www. vanderbilt. edu/csefel/

References ¢ Carr, E. , Dunlap, G. , Horner, R. , Koegel, R. , Turnbull, A. , Sailor, W. , Anderson, J. , Albin, R. , Koegel, L. , & Fox, L. (2002). Positive Behavior Support: Evolution of an Applied Science. Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 4(1), 4 -17. ¢ Crone, D. , & Horner, R. (2003). Building Positive Behavior Support Systems in Schools: Functional Behavioral Assessment. New York, NY: The Guilford Press. ¢ Derman-Sparks, L. , (1989). Anti-bias Curriculum. Washington, DC: NAEYC. ¢ Gilliam, W. S. (2005). Prekindergarteners left behind: Expulsion rates in state prekindergarten systems. Retrieved March 12, 2007, from http: //www. fcd_us. org/PDFs/National. Pre. KExpulstion. Paper 03. 02_new. pdf. ¢ Gottman, J. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. New York: Simon and Schuster. ¢ Koplow, L. (2007). Unsmiling Faces: How Preschools Can Heal. New York: Teacher’s College Press. ¢ Mc. Carnes, K. , Nelson, K. I. , Sager, N. W. , (2005). Bully Proofing in Early Childhood, Building a Caring Community. Longmont, CO: Sopris West. ¢ Nelsen, J. , Erwin, C. , Duffy, R. A. , (2007). Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. New York: Three Rivers Press. ¢ Squires, J. , & Bricker, D. , (2006). Activity-based Approach to Developing Young Children's Social Emotional Competence. Baltimore: Brookes Publishing Company. ¢ Stormont, M. , Lewis, T. , & Beckner, R. (2005). Positive Behavior Support Systems: Applying Key Features in Preschool Settings. Teaching Exceptional Children, 37(6), 42 -49. http: //www. vanderbilt. edu/csefel/, 2009