Self-Respect vs Self-Esteem Our culture

Self-Respect vs. Self-Esteem

• Our culture is concerned with matters of self-esteem. Selfrespect, on the other hand, may hold the key to achieving the peace of mind we seek. The two concepts seem very similar but the differences between them are crucial.

Self-esteem • The feeling of being satisfied with your own abilities, and that you deserved to be liked or respected

Self-respect • A feeling of being happy about your character, abilities and beliefs

• Self-esteem is based in what you think. • Self-respect is based on what you do.

• The way we view and feel about ourselves has a profound effect on how we live our lives. These opinions are shaped by experiences in the family, at school, from friendships and in wider society. Selfesteem involves our ability to think, to deal with life and to be happy.

• Our self-esteem is affected by events and encounters with other people. We are also constantly judging and evaluating ourselves, often in comparison with others. Observing ourselves in relation to other people can be a helpful source of learning and feedback. Yet all too often comparison slips into competition and others become a yardstick by which we evaluate ourselves as good or bad, competent or inadequate.

Suggestions for increasing selfesteem • Do things for pleasure, for fun • Think about ways you enjoy yourself. Put effort into making life pleasurable and satisfying. Arrange to be in situations which are playful and make you laugh. • Learn something new. Maybe something you have always wanted to try

Look after yourself physically • Eating regularly, thinking about the sort of food you eat, and making sure you try to get the amount of sleep you need. • Exercise and toning muscles can give confidence and help you to feel good about your body. Pay attention to how you stand walk. Think tall.

Use rewards • Reward yourself in other ways. What about giving yourself one day off from work a week? Buy yourself a little treat. Do something you particularly enjoy but don't often get round to. • We do not like other people saying nasty things about us so why say them to yourself? Listen to how you treat yourself - the internal conversation.

Cultivate good relationships • Involve others. Ask for support, feed-back, affection. Be prepared to say you don't know. Talk about yourself. Do not pretend or hide. Take care not to push other people away through being negative about yourself. • Join in with others. Do not assume you are not important; other people have an effect on you and you affect them. Most people are interested in making new friends, and friendships can begin at any time in life. Say hello; do not wait for other people to come to you. Smile. Be nice to others, volunteer, be helpful, pay compliments.

• Self-respect is based on what you do. • And it is an ongoing effort. It doesn't matter what you did in the past, it is about what you are doing now. It is important to realize that these actions are concrete and measure up to external standards of good behavior, accomplishment and cause for admiration. You don't just think of yourself as a good person, you walk the talk. You take extra time and effort to be a good person to others.

How to gain self respect • Keep your promises: • It`s not only about the promises you give to others but I also mean the promises you give to yourself. “I will never smoke again” or “I will never allow this to happen to me again” are examples of promises you might have given to yourself. Not keeping such promises will result in losing self respect while keeping them will result in gaining self respect

Ask but never beg: • Search for a job, tell someone that you love him/her and ask people for help but never beg anyone. If someone rejected you, ignored you or didn’t respect you then you should never beg him. Each time you will beg that person you will be losing respect towards yourself.

Don’t escape : • fight for your dreams and never give up before you are satisfied with your life. How many problems are bothering you now? How many things do you wish to change? Are you fighting to change them or are you giving them your back? Become brave and your will gain self respect.