In the name of Allah Scientific

In the name of Allah

Scientific & Technical Presentation Leila Sharif University of Technology E-Mail: l_sharif@sharif. edu http: //ce. sharif. edu/courses/84 -85/1/ce 221/

The Craft of Editing isn’t a cosmetic process. It’s a thinking process. Richard Rhodes, author Making of the Atomic Bomb

Although editing is a large subject, we will focus on the editing that occurs in the sign-off process Editing documents: Reviewing Line editing Online editing Proofreading Reducing friction: Actions by authors Actions by editors

Before editing someone’s document, you should first consider your constraints Audience of Document Format of Document Process to Publish Document Formality of Document Other Editors of Document Politics and Ethics

Three aspects of the writing affect the way that editors assess documents Content Style Form

Editing for content involves deciding what message to send Is the content appropriate? Is the content correct? Is the content complete?

Editing for style involves deciding how to communicate the message Focus on language Focus on structure Focus on illustration

Editing form concerns whether the communication is properly presented Focus on punctuation Focus on grammar Focus on format Focus on usage Focus on spelling

What variables determine how much change you make? Importance of Change Consistency of Change Disposition of Writer Difficulty of Change

A well-done edit has three characteristics: clarity, consistency, and hierarchy clarity deletee consistency effect affect e hierarchy most important next most important least important

One convention is to circle comments, but not added words or letters Last year, city engineers came up with a devised for plan to address the tetrachloroethane- contaminated soil required to be excavated sentence too long for planned thoroughfare construction that will occur within This construction / #the right-of-way adjacent to Building 1817, which houses the Genetics Laboratory. *au: are you implying that Chem E contaminated the soil? au*

Reducing the friction between editors and authors calls for action on both sides Authors Identifying constraints Submitting outlines early Allotting time for editors Mulling over criticisms Editors Identifying pet peeves Negotiating gray areas Establishing boundaries Controlling tone Understanding authors

When editing someone’s writing, consider tone Editor Edit one another as you would wish to be edited Lead with the positive Author

Structure of a Scientific Document

Structure: the Strategy of Style If a man can group his ideas, then he is a writer. Ending Robert Louis Stevenson Middle Beginning

The organization of a scientific document can be viewed as a beginning, middle, and ending Conclusions Back Matter Ending Middle Sections Middle Title Summary Introduction Beginning

Beginnings prepare readers for understanding the work Title Summary Introduction orients readers to document tells readers what happens in document prepares readers for the middle

A strong title orients readers to your area of work Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Avalanches Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Electron Avalanches in Electrical Gas Discharges

A strong title also separates your work from everyone else's work Studies on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper Effects of Rhodamine-B on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper

Several names for summaries exist Summary Abstract Technical Abstract Descriptive Abstract Informative Abstract Executive Summary

Although several names exist for summaries, there are essentially two approaches This paper describes a new inertial navigation system for mapping oil and gas wells. In this paper, we will compare the mapping accuracy and speed for this new system against the accuracy and speed for conventional systems. Descriptive This paper describes a new inertial navigation system that will increase the mapping accuracy of oil wells by a factor of ten. The new system uses three-axis navigation that protects sensors from high-spin rates. The system Informative also processes its information by Kalman filtering (a statistical sampling technique) in an on-site computer. Test results show the three-dimensional location accuracy is within 0. 1 meters for every 100 meters of well depth, an accuracy ten times greater than conventional systems.

A document's introduction prepares readers for the discussion Topic? Importance? Background? Arrangement? Introduction

The introduction defines the scope and limitations of the work Women may not experience the same effects Medical histories not considered scope Proposed Study on Effects of Alcohol on Life Expectancy Three classes of drinkers: non-drinkers moderate drinkers heavy drinkers Other effects, such as exercise, not considered limitations Ten-year study Men surveyed

A strong introduction tells readers why the research is important This paper presents a design for a platinum catalytic igniter in hydrogen-air mixtures. This igniter has application in nuclear reactors. One danger at a nuclear reactor is a loss-of-coolant accident. Such an accident can produce large quantities of hydrogen gas when hot water and steam react with zirconium fuel rods. In a serious accident, the evolution of hydrogen may be so rapid that it produces an explosive hydrogen-air mixture in the reactor containment building. This mixture could breach the containment walls and allow radiation to escape. Our method to eliminate this danger is to intentionally ignite the hydrogen-air mixture at concentrations below those for which any serious damage might result. importance

In the middle of a report, you present your work Choose a logical strategy Make sections and subsections Heading Subheading Subheading Heading [Sandia, 1985]

Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports Chronological [Maizels, 2001] Spatial [Pratt & Whitney, 2000]

Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports Parallel Parts Corel Corporation Flow [Sandia, 1985]

Section headings should be descriptive and parallel Non-Parallel Non-Descriptive Introduction Background Marx Generators Line Pulse Beam Generation Transporting Beam Pellets Results Conclusions Parallel Descriptive Introduction Past Designs for Particle Beam Fusion New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Forming Line Pulse Generating Particle Beam Transporting Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets Results of New Design Conclusions and Recommendations

When you divide a section into subsections, all the pieces should be of the same pie New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Generating Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets

Organization is hidden when headings occur in a long list without secondary headings Performance of the Solar One Receiver Introduction Steady State Efficiency Introduction Receiver’s Efficiency Average Efficiency Start-Up Time Operation During Cloud Transients Steady State Efficiency Average Efficiency Receiver’s Operation Cycle Start-Up Time Panel Mechanical Supports Tube Leaks Conclusion Operation Time Operation During Cloud Transients Receiver’s Mechanical Wear Panel Mechanical Supports Tube Leaks Conclusion

Many journal articles follow a set organization named IMRa. D Introduction Materials and Methods Discussion Results

In a strong ending, you analyze results and give a future perspective Conclusions Analysis of Results Analyze results from overall perspective Future Perspective Several options: Make recommendations Discuss future work Repeat limitations

Use appendices to supply background for secondary audiences Appendix A Concern About the Greenhouse Effect For almost a hundred years, experts have been concerned with the increasing concentrations of gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrogen oxides in the earth's lower atmosphere. These gases are natural by-products of combustion. Figure A-1 illustrates the correlation between global temperature and carbon dioxide concentrations. . .

Use appendices to supply secondary or tangential information to primary readers Appendix B Project Stormfury In 1961, the United States Weather Bureau and the Department of Defense (Navy) began a project to reduce the strength of hurricanes. The project, called Project Stormfury, uses cloud seeding, a process used to produce rainfall and reduce hail in thunderstorms. In Project Stormfury, silver iodide crystals, similar in structure to ice, are dispersed by airplanes in the upper reaches of cloud formations just outside the hurricane's eye where the winds are highest. Initial results showed that wind speeds decreased between 15– 30% after seedings. . .

For secondary readers, use a glossary to define unfamiliar terms Glossary burst point: the exact point in space where an atomic bomb is detonated. clear visibility: a viewing range of twenty miles. fallout: the descent to the Earth's surface of radioactive particles from a cloud contaminated with the fission products of a nuclear explosion. hypocenter: the point on the earth's surface directly below the burst point; also called ground zero.

Failing to cite the contribution of others can be a fatal flaw in your career [Franklin, 1952] James Watson surreptitiously looked at Rosalind Franklin’s work [Luzzati, 1950] Watson did not give enough credit to Franklin

Illustrations

Illustration: The Meshing of Words With Images Keep it as simple as possible, yet no simpler. Albert Einstein X-ray photograph of DNA [Rosalind Franklin, 1952]

Two types of illustrations exist: tables and figures Table 1. Reactor power levels in Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991]. Pressurizer Date Time Power Level 4/25 1: 00 am 3200 MW 4/25 2: 00 pm 1600 MW 4/25 11: 10 pm 1600 MW 4/26 1: 00 am 30 MW 4/26 1: 19 am 200 MW 4/26 1: 23 am 2, 000 MW Coolant Loss Reactor Vessel Steam Generator Core Figure 1. Simplified diagram of nuclear reactor [Wolfson, 1991].

Tables can present words as well as numbers Table 2. Sequence of events in the Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991]. Date Time Power Level Event April 25 1: 00 a. m. 3200 MW Operators begin power descent April 25 2: 00 p. m. 1600 MW Power descent delayed for 9 hours Emergency core-cooling system disconnected April 25 11: 10 p. m. 1600 MW Operators switch off automatic control Power descent resumed April 26 1: 00 a. m. 30 MW April 26 1: 19 a. m. 200 MW April 26 1: 23 a. m. 2, 000 MW Power minimum reached Operators pull rods beyond allowable limits Operators start two additional coolant pumps Operators violate coolant flow limits Power surges by factor of 10, 000 in 5 seconds

When presenting numerical data, you choose between tables and graphs Table 2. Blood glucose levels [Carlson, 1982]. Time (hour) Normal (mg/dl*) Diabetic (mg/dl) midnight 2: 00 4: 00 6: 00 8: 00 10: 00 noon 2: 00 4: 00 6: 00 8: 00 100. 3 93. 6 88. 2 100. 5 138. 6 102. 4 93. 8 132. 3 103. 8 93. 6 127. 8 109. 2 175. 8 165. 7 159. 4 72. 1 271. 0 224. 6 161. 8 242. 7 219. 4 152. 6 227. 1 221. 3 * decaliters/milligram 300 Breakfast Lunch Dinner 250 Diabetic Blood 200 Glucose Level 150 (mg/dl) 100 Normal 50 0 12: 00 6: 00 am 12: 00 6: 00 pm Hour Figure 11. Blood glucose levels for normal individual and diabetic [Carlson, 1982]. 12: 00

Line graphs are common in engineering and science 2000 1500 Temperature (K) 1000 Experiment Simulation 500 0 0 2 4 6 8 10 Distance From Burner (mm) Figure 3. Computational and experimental temperatures for laminar diffusion flames [Sandia, 1987].

Bar graphs compare wholes 30 Normal range 20 7 -10 Cells% 10 112– 175 211– 366 Flight Duration (Days) Figure 4. Response of T-cells in cosmonauts after short-term and long-term flights [Konstantinova, 1991].

Gantt charts are a type of bar charts Task 1979 1981 1983 1985 1987 Construction Test and Evaluation Power Production Figure 5. Schedule for the construction, evaluation, and production phases of the Solar One Power Plant. 1989

Pie graphs compare parts of a whole Medical and research wastes (16%) Industrial wastes (28%) Power Reactor Industrial Medical Government wastes (2%) Power reactor wastes (64%) Figure 5. Volume of low-level nuclear wastes from various sources [League, 1985].

Graphs come in many forms 85 mrem 70 mrem Average dose: 160 mrem Natural Sources Medical Sources { Fallout: < 3 mrem Occupational: < 1 mrem Nuclear power: < 1 mrem Figure 6. Estimated annual dose of radiation in the United States [GPU Nuclear, 1985].

When presenting images, you choose between photographs, drawings, and diagrams 4 1 Combustor 2 Compressor 3 Turbine

The main advantage of photographs is realism 60 seconds 59. 5 seconds 59 seconds Figure 2. Space Shuttle Challenger, from about 59 seconds to 60 seconds into launch (January 28, 1986). On the right rocket, flame first becomes visible and then impinges on tank.

One advantage of drawings is control of detail Combustor Simulator Turbine Vanes Secondary Flow Primary Flow Secondary Flow Dilution Jet Film-Cooling Holes Figure 5. Wind tunnel experiment at Virginia Tech for evaluating film-cooling designs for the blades of gas turbine engines [Thole and others, 2000].

The main advantage of a diagram is the ability to show flow of a variable through a system Figure 8. Schematic of test stand for evaluating components of an air conditioner design.

Scientists and engineers often use illustrations that are too complex for the text The thermal storage system stores heat in a huge, steelwalled tank. Steam from the solar receiver passes through heat exchangers to heat thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity. A schematic of this system is shown in Figure 5. RECEIVER DSPH TSU TSH FLASH TANK FT DEARATOR TURBINE HP HTR Figure 5. Schematic of thermal storage system. HOT WELL T S S G

The precision of the illustrations should reflect the precision of the text The thermal storage system, shown in Figure 6, stores heat in a huge, steel-walled tank. Steam from the solar receiver heats a thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity. 650°F 580°F Thermal Tank Heat Exchanger solar receiver 435°F 575°F 425°F 530°F Heat Exchanger 425°F steam generator 250°F Figure 6. Schematic of thermal storage system for the solar power plant.

For clarity, you should introduce and explain illustrations in the text . . . , as shown in Figure 7. Title of figure. Some formats allow you extra sentences to explain unusual details.

Inconsistencies between text and images disrupt fluidity The testing hardware of the rocket shown in Figure 8 has five main components: camera, digitizer, computer, I/O interface, and mechanical interface. Commands are generated by the computer, then passed through the I/O interface to the mechanized interface where the keyboard of the ICU is operated. The display of the ICU is read with a television camera and then digitized. This information is then manipulated by the computer to direct the next command. CONTROL TERMINAL PRINTER CAMERA DIGITIZER ROCKET COMPUTER ELECTROMECHANICAL INTERFACE Figure 8. Testing hardware.

Illustration is the meshing of words with images Our system for testing the launch controls of the rocket consists of four main parts: computer, electro-mechanical interface, camera, and digitizer. In this system (shown in Figure 9), the computer generates test commands to the rocket through the electromechanical interface. The test results are read with a television camera, and then digitized. The computer receives the information from the digitizer, and then directs the next test command. 1 Computer 4 Digitizer 2 Electro. Mechanical Interface 3 Camera Figure 9. System to test launch controls for rocket. Rocket