Improving second language learners writing through explicit story

Improving second language learners’ writing through explicit story structure instruction By Ms Ho-lan POON Ying Yin Catholic Primary School

Please discuss the following: • Why are you interested in this topic? • What is your expectation of this sharing session?

Ying Yin Catholic Primary School Website: http: //www. yingyin. edu. hk Email address: yingyin@school. net. hk Teacher: Ms Ho-lan POON Tel: 2476 -2946

Introduction • • • School background Objectives Action planning The actions taken Reflection

Background • Located in Tan Kwai Tsuen, Hung Shui Kiu • 13 teachers in total • Textbook-bound • High flexibility in teaching style, e. g. co-teaching, interest group… etc.

Our concern Learning how to plan the structure of a whole story is a writing skill that many teachers feel unsure how to teach and pupils are given limited opportunities to learn.

Students’ writing at the beginning of the school term Class: 5 A Yoyo My good Friend Steven is my good friend. He is always late for school… (guided writing: one paragraph, around 40 words)

Class: 5 A Lillian I’m going to Japan. There a lot of shops. I’ll get there by… (guided writing: one paragraph, around 30 words)

Please discuss the following: • Do your students have similar problems in writing? How do you help them overcome the problems?

Objectives • To arouse students’ interest in writing • To raise students’ confidence in writing • To explore how far explicit story structure instruction can help to improve second language learners’ writing in local context

Action planning Research topic: Improving second language learners’ writing through explicit story structure instruction Subjects: 10 Primary 5 students Try-out period: October – December 2003 (nine to ten 45 -min periods) Time: 7: 45 to 8: 30 am on Fridays

Selection of reading texts

Our implementation plan Phase 1: Raising students’ awareness in text patterns and structures (Weeks 1 -4) • Reading texts 1 – 3: simple texts written with patterned and natural language Phase 2: Explicit story structure instruction (Weeks 5 -8) • Reading texts 4 – 6: stories with simple story structures Phase 3: Writing simple stories using appropriate story structure for planning and drafting (Weeks 9 -10)

Phase 1 Raising students’ awareness in text patterns and structures (Weeks 1 -4)

The actions taken Teaching procedure for reading texts 1 & 2: 1. The teacher had shared reading with students. 2. The teacher modelled creative writing using a Power. Point. 3. The teacher asked students to complete worksheets.

Worksheet for creative writing Cinderella Dressed in Yellow By Rozanne Lanczak Williams Cinderella dressed in __________ Went downstairs to _____________________. How many ________________________? Cinderella dressed in __________ Went downstairs and _____________________. How many ________________________? Cinderella dressed in __________ Went downstairs to _____________________. How many ________________________?

Please discuss the following: • How to share the success criteria with students?

Cinderella Dressed in Yellow By David and Bryan Cinderella dressed in yellow Rhyming words Went downstairs to say hello. How many people say hello? Cinderella dressed in pink Went downstairs and go to drink. How many drinks did she drink? Cinderella dressed in green Went downstairs to be a Queen. How many crowns did she have? interrogative

Cinderella Dressed in white By Cindy, Amy and Yo-yo Rhyming words Cinderella dressed in white Went downstairs to fly a kite. How many kites did she fly? Cinderella dressed in pink Went downstairs and find her ink. How many bottles of ink did she find? Cinderella dressed in gold Went downstairs to hold her bowl. How many bowls did she hold? interrogative

Cinderella Dressed in Brown By Bobo, Kiki, Wendy, Gigi, Tina Rhyming words Cinderella dressed in brown Went downstairs to go the town. How many towns did she pass? Cinderella dressed in red Went downstairs and go to buy the bread. How many pieces of bread did she get? Cinderella dressed in purple Went downstairs to eat apple. How many apples did she get? interrogative

The revised reading text When I grow up I would like to be famous On TV. When I grow up I would like to be A baker In a bakery. When I grow up I would like to be A mermaid In the deep blue sea. When I grow up I would like to be A millionaire With jewellery. The reading text is revised to help the students recognize the simple structure of each stance

Vocabulary list for the students

When I grow up I would like to be A singer and a dancer on stage. When I grow up I would like to be A doctor in a clinic. When I grow up I would like to be an air hostess in the aeroplane. When I grow up I would like to be a secretary With my computer. By Kiki, Gigi

When I grow up By Tina, Wendy When I grow up I would like to be Rich and not short On TV. When I grow up I would like to be A Winnie the Pooh in a honey. When I grow up I would like to be a salesman In the shop. When I grow up I would like to be a pianist With the piano. Words that the students are interested in but not given in the vocabulary list

When I grow up By Cindy Chow, Yo-yo, Amy When I grow up I would like to be Clever and polite in the office. When I grow up I would like to be An Aladdin in flying in the sky. When I grow up I would like to be a chef In the western restaurant. When I grow up I would like to be a detective With my magnifier. Words that the students are interested in but not given in the vocabulary list

When I grow up By David When I grow up I would like to be Clever and strong on TV. When I grow up I would like to be A pilot in an aeroplane. When I grow up I would like to be an astronaut In the space. When I grow up I would like to be an archeologist With a lot of antique. Words that the students are interested in but not given in the vocabulary list

Please discuss the following: • Do you think students enjoyed reading the books and doing the reading tasks?

Students’ feedback WE DON’T LIKE WORKSHEETS!!

Please discuss the following: • What improvement will you make then?

The actions taken Teaching procedure for reading texts 3 to 6: 1. The teacher had shared reading with students. 2. The teacher modelled creative writing by showing a Power. Point 3. The students took part in different tasks and practised more free writing.

Please discuss the following: • How is this story different from the first two? How to help students understand better?

Worksheet again? ? ? Lunch with Cat and Dog by Rozanne Lanczak Williams “A _______! I want the most!” said Cat. “OK, ” said Dog. “_________________ for you and ________________ for me. ” “Yes!” said Cat. … The students are given some cutouts of food. They can divide the food in different ways, and write a short dialogue (like the one provided above) in pairs.

“A chocolate cake! I want the most” demanded Bo-Bo. “OK, ” said Amy. “Two pieces for you and one piece for me. ” “I’m full” said Bo-Bo. “Me too!” said Amy.

“A pizza! I want the most!” said gigi. “OK, ” said yoyo. “Seven pieces for you and one piece for me. ” “Yes!” said Gigi.

Miss Poon: “An ice-cream! I want the most. ” David: “OK. ” “Three cones for you and one cone for me. ” “Two pieces for you and one piece for me. ” Miss Poon: “Good!!”

“A cookie with ice-cream! I want the most” screamed Wendy. “OK, ” said Tina. “Eight pieces for you and one piece for me. ” “Hooray!” said Wendy.

“A big meat ball! I want the most!” said Yo-yo. OK! said Cindy. “Two plates for you and one plate for me. ” “Yes!” said Yo-yo.

“Fruit jelly! I want the most!” said Cat. Two bowls for you and one bowl for me. ” “Yes!” said Cat.

“An egg tart! I want the most!” said Dog. “OK, ” said Cat. “Two boxes for you and one box for me. ” “Yes!” said Cat.

Phase 2 Explicit story structure instruction (Weeks 5 -8)

Please discuss the following: • Do you know this story? Please share your experience in teaching this story.

Story map: Day of the week story

Each student is asked to write down the food eaten by the caterpillar on a particular weekday assigned by the teacher on draft paper.

Students’ suggestions On Monday, he ate through an sushi, some slice of pizza, ten biscuit, on bottle of milk, but he was still hungry. On Tuesday, he ate through one roast goose leg, two slices of pizza, three scoops of ice-cream and four pieces of cherry pie, but he was still hungry. On Wednesday, he ate through a ham sandwich, a mango pudding, a four spicy sausages, but he was still hungry. On Thursday, he ate through one packet of soya milk, one packet of baked potato and two packet of chocolate, but he was still hungry. On Friday, he ate through a salmon sushi, two packets of biscuit, three sausages and four slice of salami, but he was still hungry. On Saturady, he ate through one ice-cream, one strawberry cakes, two lollipops, one piece of chocolate pie, but he was still hungry.

Making the longest caterpillar in the world Each student writes down the food eaten by the caterpillar on a particular weekday on a paper strip. The two ends of each strip is then stuck together to form a loop. The loops interlock to form the long body of a caterpillar which is then displayed on the notice board.

Please discuss the following: • Do you know this story? Please share your experience in teaching this story.

Story map: Cumulative story

There was an ugly girl who swallowed a fish By David

There was an ugly girl who swallowed a fish

There was an ugly girl who swallowed a fish

She swallowed a crab to eat the fish.

She swallowed a cat to catch the crab.

She swallowed a monkey to eat the cat.

She swallowed a spaceboy to eat the monkey.

神舟五號 I don’t know how she swallowed a space ship.

Interview with David

There was a tall lady who swallowed a ant By Shum Lai Yin

There was a tall girl who swallowed a ant

There was a tall girl who swallowed a ant.

There was a tall girl who swallowed a cockroach. That wriggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed a cockroach to catch the ant.

There was a tall girl who swallowed a butterfly. How absurd to swallow a butterfly! She swallow a butterfly to catch to cockroach.

There was a tall girl who swallowed a bird. Well, fancy that, She swallow a bird! She swallow the bird to catch the butterfly!

There was a tall girl who swallowed a Monkey! I don’t know how she swallow a Monkey. She swallow a Monkey to catch the bird!

There was a tall girl who swallowed a … What a hog, to swallow a lion. She swallow the lion to catch the monkey!

The reading text Rosie’s walk Rosie the hen went for a walk across the yard, around the pond, over the haycock, past the mill, through the fence, under the beehives, and got back in time for dinner.

Please discuss the following: • Do you know this story? Please share your experience in teaching this story.

Tracing Rosie’s route

Story map: Journey story __________ _____________

Designing a new route for Rosie

Rosie’s walk (by students) Rosie the hen went for a walk around the farm past the car exhibition past the swimming pool past the playground across the park past the book fair past the shop across the house past the primary school under the graveyard and get back in time for sleeping.

Please discuss the following: • Do you know this story? Please share your experience in teaching this story.

Phase 3 Writing simple stories using appropriate story structures for planning and drafting (Weeks 9 -10)

The actions taken Final writing project: Message in a bottle 1. The students imagine that they were left on a deserted island, and had to write letters to ask for help. Each of them is given a unique situation to handle. 2. Each student could choose one out of the three story maps to plan their writing

You are left on a deserted island. You decide to write a letter and put it in a bottle. Hopefully someone will see it and come to rescue you. In the letter, you may choose one of the following topic and write: 1)You felt very hungry. What did you find to eat? What did you swallow? How did you feel? 2)Where did you go? Over the hills? Down the bridge? Across the river? 3)You have stayed on the island for a week. What did you do on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, …? What happened? 4) When I were free, I would. . .

13 different places for the students to choose

Word cards: 13 different places 1. bridge 5. tree house 10. tents 2. palace 6. igloo 11. cave 3. waterfall 7. volcano 12. huts 4. under the water 8. jungle 9. desert 13. graveyard

Word cards: animals / things you see on the island skull crab hamster Lion king fairy skeleton snake bear parrot dog turtle cat squirrel dinosaur alien Octopus camel unicorn monsters

Drawing pictures about what happened on the island

Story map 1 What did you do? Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday (Days of the week story: “The very hungry caterpillar”)

Story map 2 Cumulative story: “There was an old lady who swallowed a fly”

Story map 3 __________ _____________ (Journey story: “Rosie’s walk”)

Sharing the plans in groups

From planning to drafting…

Published on school web site: http: //www. yingyin. edu. hk

I felt very hungry. First I ate a red apple. It’s sweet. Secondly, I ate a piece of meat. It’s salty. Next I ate a fish. It’s sweet and sour… (Lillian)

I felt hungry. First, I ate two apples. Secondly, I ate three bananas. Then I ate two water melons. Then I ate six mangoes. Then I ate ten cherries. After that, I ate nine strawberries, four apples and five lemons. Finally, I ate three strawberries, four apples and three water melons. They were sweet. (Gigi)

I saw a skeleton. Next I met a hamster. Then I saw a dinosaur and a crab fighting. Then I looked at a camel, a unicorn, a fairy and an octopus playing chess. After that, I smelt two turtles, one monster and a cat. Finally I saw an alien dancing. (Cindy)

I had stayed on the island for a week. On Monday, I saw a lot of kinds of fish! On Tuesday, I ate a lot of fish. On Wednesday, I went swimming with turtle in the water! On Thursday, I ate some crabs. . . On Friday, I saw a sea snake swimming. On Saturday, I saw a fairy in the sea. It was spectacular. (Tina)

I had stayed on the island for a week. On Sunday, I made a big house. On Monday, I found some leaves and made a shirt. On Tuesday, I found some food to eat. On Wednesday and Thursday, I slept. On Friday I felt very hungry and ate a lot of leaves. On Saturday, I slept. On Sunday, I made a boat. I was very happy. I hoped I could go home soon. (David)

Please discuss the following: • Is this the ultimate target? What is the next step? How are we going to extend the experience of story structure instruction this year (04 -05)? • What are the impacts on your teaching?

Thanks