HOW TO MAKE A MUMMY FROM A FRIEND
FOREWORD • Perhaps your friend specifically requested it. Perhaps they didn't, but something makes you think "he would have wanted it that way". No matter why- if you find normal burial blasé, cremation to be too environmentally unfriendly and burial at sea a bit fishy, why not take a leaf from an Ancient Egyptian book (specifically, the Book of the Dead) and turn them into a mummy ? Ok, let's see what we will need for this :
1. ENSURE YOUR FRIEND IS DEAD Otherwise he or she may be vexed by the steps that follow. Ways to confirm death include checking for a pulse, shaking them and shouting: "Are you dead ? !"
2. MOVE TO EGYPT This will ensure a dry, hot climate perfect for preserving bodies. Make sure you have plenty of time for this.
3. WASH THE BODY USING NILE WATER, AND REMOVE THE ORGANS Cut a large slit into the left side of the body and remove the "important" organs like the intestines, liver, stomach and lungs. Sluice out any leftover big bits with palm wine and spices. Sew up the slit.
4. EMBALM THE BODY IN NATRON Do this for about 70 days. The remaining organs that are left at this point, apart from the heart, can be discarded. Leave the heart inside the body- it will be needed in the afterlife as it is supposedly where memories and emotions are stored.
5. REMOVE THE BRAIN Do this by ramming a long hook up the nostril cavity and liquefying the brain matter. This may require some upper body strength, As all Ancient Egyptians know, the brain is unimportant so you can throw it away.
Imsety (human head): liver Hapy (baboon head): lungs Qebehsenuef (falcon head): intestines Duamutef (jackal head): stomach Each jar is decorated with the heads of the four sons of the god Horus, who will protect their contents, Place organs thus
7. STUFF AND COVER THE BODY WITH NATRON Over 40 days, liquids will seep out of the body and dry it out. Make sure you watch over the body during this time, as the powerful smells may attract wild animals. Remove the natron and fill the cavity with linen.
8. WASH THE BODY IN WATER AND OIL, THEN WRAP IT IN LINEN Use roughly 370 squared meters. Remember to insert amulets that will protect the soul in the afterlife, like a scarab beetle placed over the heart. Helpful spells from the Book of the Dead should also be placed in the hands.
9. PLACE THE BODY IN A SARCOPHAGUS The body is now ready to be preserved for centuries. Make sure you complete the rest of the rituals, such as the "Opening of the Mouth. " A priest will touch various parts of the face to give the spirit the power of sight, speech, taste and hearing in the afterlife. And I really do not advise disturb the mummy…
Interview: We interviewed 45 people if they want to mummify their neighbors. Her you can see the results of our survey. I want to mummify my neighbor because : оf his snoring(15) he's always listening musik to loud(10) he's always playing computer at night(9) he never helps me(9) he's always inviting his girlfriend to our room(6) he's always listening rap(5)