He who finds a wife finds a good

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD. ” Proverbs 18: 22 MARRIAGE

Biblical Guidance Through the MARRIAGE

“It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him. ” Genesis 2: 18 MARRIAGE

“Loneliness is the first thing that God’s eye named not good” Milton, Tetrachordon

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” Genesis 2: 24 MARRIAGE

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled” Hebrews 13: 4 a MARRIAGE

“Needles and pins, needles and pins. When a man marries his trouble begins” J. O. Halliwell, The Nursery Rhymes of England

The Proper Time to Marry “For a young man, not yet, for an old man never at all. ” Diogenes Laertius, Bk 6, 237

“Marriage, if one face the truth, is an evil, but a necessary evil” Menander Frag. 651 k

“Marriage is always a vice, all that can be done is to excuse it and sanctify it; therefore, it was made a religious sacrament” Jerome, Seldes, pg. 643

Challenges of Marriage “Troubles in the Flesh”

“Troubles in the Flesh” • Those who marry “will have trouble in the flesh” (1 Corinthians 7: 28). • “He who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife” (1 Corinthians 7: 33) • “She who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7: 34). • Not sinful love of the world (1 John 2: 15 -17).

“Troubles in the Flesh” • Financial Issues

“A man should first build a house, then plant a vineyard, then marry” Babylonian Talmud, Sotah, fol. 44 a

“Troubles in the Flesh” • Financial Issues • Personality Issues • Sexual Issues

Challenges of Marriage “Troubles in the Flesh” Changing Impressions

“So it came to pass in the morning, that behold, it was Leah. And he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you deceived me? ” o Genesis 29: 25 Jacob & Leah

“It doesn’t much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find next morning that it was someone else” Samuel Rogers, Table Talk MARRIAGE

Challenges of Marriage “Troubles in the Flesh” Changing Impressions A Lack of Support

“Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” Job 2: 9 MARRIAGE

“The way to have something is to give it away. If you want love, for example, don’t look for it— give it. ” Tim La. Haye, How to Be Happy Though Married, pg. 96

Challenges of Marriage “Troubles in the Flesh” Changing Impressions A Lack of Support Temptation to Do Wrong

“For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the LORD his God, as was the heart of his father David. ” 1 Kings 11: 4 MARRIAGE

“Above all, no lady should allow herself to correspond with an intemperate man, with a view to matrimony. She may reform him, but the chances are that her life’s happiness will be completely destroyed by such a union. Better, a thousand times, the single, free and independent maidenhood, than for a woman to trail her life in the dust, and bring poverty, shame, and disgrace on her children, by marrying a man addicted to dissipated habits” John Duncan, Manners and Morals of Long Ago, pg. 17

“The sum of all that makes a just man happy consists in the well choosing of his wife. ” Massinger MARRIAGE

Biblical Guidance for Marriage 1 Love Wives as Your Own Body – Ephesians 5: 2829 “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church”

The Husband’s Love of the Wife • Husband is to be the “head of the wife” (Ephesians 5: 23). • Not a position of mastery and domination but of service and responsibility. • Begins with the proper attitude. • As Christ “loved the church” (Ephesians 5: 25) and “as their own bodies” (Eph. 5: 28).

“Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. ” Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac 1734

“How to Have a Good Fight” 1. Keep it Honest, 2. Keep it Under Control, 3. Keep it Timed Right, 4. Keep it Positive, 5. Keep it Tactful, 6. Keep it Private, 7. Keep it Cleaned Up, 8. Keep it in Mind. Chuck Swindoll Strike the Original Match , pgs. 99 -113

Biblical Guidance to Adults 2 Submit to Husbands as to Christ – Ephesians 5: 2224 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. ”

Our Social Customs 1891 “It is the paradise of marriage that the man shall work for the woman; that he alone shall support her, take pleasure in enduring fatigue for her sake, and spare her the hardships of labor, and rude contact with the world. ” John Duncan, Manners and Morals of Long Ago “It is a home that man wants, and he doesn’t get that when the woman he weds is merely ornamental. It is a defect of our civilization that women are forced to become breadwinners” (Daphne Dale).

“In the home there must be somebody in charge. Every school needs a principal. Every business needs a manager… There must in every condition be somebody at the head … A wife is to be shielded from some of the blows that must fall in marriage. She is to be shielded from some of the decision making. She has another role to fill, and only she can fill it. ” Irvin Lee, Good Homes in a Wicked World pg. 53

Six Keys to a Marital Happiness 1. Maturity, 2. Submission, 3. Love, 4. Communication, 5. Prayer, 6. Christ. Tim La. Haye How To Be Happy Though Married , pgs. 97 -127

“All of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for ‘God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble’” 1 Peter 5: 5 MARRIAGE

“Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” James 4: 7 MARRIAGE

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” James 5: 16 MARRIAGE

Biblical Guidance to Adults 3 Do Not Deprive One Another – 1 Cor. 7: 3 -5 “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does…”

Biblical Guidance to Adults 3 Do Not Deprive One Another – 1 Cor. 7: 3 -5 “…Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ”

“Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? ” Proverbs 5: 16 MARRIAGE

“Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward” Mad. Scuderi MARRIAGE

“I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman? ” Job 31: 1 MARRIAGE

Do Not Deprive One Another • “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (7: 1 b). • “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (7: 2). There is no other way which God has provided to satisfy this human need.

“Every man has within him a God-given instinct that is holy and right in its proper use. The same is true of the woman. The instinct that causes a man to be attracted to a woman and a woman to a man helps to make the marriage strong and helps to keep them together. ” Irvin Lee, Good Homes in a Wicked World pg. 108

Bessie Patterson, Wisely Train the Younger Women “Do you think you can be a prude with your husband, perhaps drive him to another woman, then claim to be blameless when your marriage has failed? Can such a woman, while denying her husband his rights, pray, or worship acceptably? ” (pg. 51).

“After thirty-five a man begins to have thoughts about women; before that age he has feelings” Austin O’Malley Epigram MARRIAGE

Biblical Guidance to Adults 4 Honor Your Wife – 1 Peter 3: 7 “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. ”

Biblical Guidance to Adults 4 Respect Your Husband – Ephesians 5: 33 “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. ”

“Prescription for a a Superb Marriage” B – Blessing. “Blessing” (Gr. eulogia) means “good words. ” E – Edifying. “Edify” (Gr. Oikodomeo) “house-building. ” S – Sharing. “…All areas of life— your time, activities, interests and concerns, ideas and innermost thoughts, spiritual walk, family objectives and goals, etc. ” T – Touching. “A tender touch tells us that we are cared for. It can calm our fears, soothe pain, bring us comfort, or give us the blessed satisfaction of emotional security” Ed Wheat, Love Life: for Every Married Couple, pgs. 177 -184

Biblical Guidance to Adults 5 Marriage is For Life – Romans 7: 2 “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. ”

“‘For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence, ’ Says the LORD of hosts. ‘Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously. ’” Malachi 2: 16 MARRIAGE

God Hates “Putting Away” • It is a covenant made before God (Malachi 2: 14). • Sermon on the Mount includes it when He addresses honesty and making oaths (Matthew 5: 33 -37). • God allows an innocent mate, to “put away” a mate who has engaged in sexual activity with another person (Matthew 19: 9; 5: 32). • Guilty party, can never remarry and be right with God. • One who is “put away” for any reason (including fornication) who remarries is in adultery.