Happiness Habits: Insights from Positive Psychology that Can Help Your Clients Bill O’Hanlon www. billohanlon. com
What is Positive Psychology? Research evidence about: • What works in human life • What makes people happier • What gives their lives a sense of satisfaction and meaning • What helps them function better Also called “Subjective Well-Being”
Psychological studies have been biased toward the negative Psychological publications and studies dealing with negative states outnumbered those examining positive states by a ratio of 17 to 1 in a survey done in 1995. Myers, D. and Deiner, E. (1995) “Who is Happy? , ” Psychological Science, 6: 1019.
The Power of Negative Thinking “I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do? ” –Ronnie Shakes
This comes in part from the Freudian legacy • Freud thought the best we could hope for was “ordinary misery. ” • He questioned the quest for happiness and indeed, all our motives, and ascribed dark impulses and infantile wishes to them.
Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions People who are in a more positive mood are better liked by others and more open to new ideas and experiences. Positive emotions may help people learn and take in more information. Fredrickson, Barbara. (1998). “What good are positive emotions? ” Review of General Psychology, 2: 300 -319.
Negative talk shown to increase stress hormones A recent study shows that extensive discussions of problems and encouragement of ‘‘problem talk, ’’ rehashing the details of problems, speculating about problems, and dwelling on negative affect in particular, leads to a significant increase in the stress hormone cortisol, which predicts increased depression and anxiety over time. Byrd-Craven, J. , Geary, D. C. , Rose, A. J. , & Ponzi, D. (2008). “Co-ruminating increase stress hormone levels in women, ” Hormones and Behavior, 53, 489– 492.
Colonoscopy experiment Reference: Redelmeier, D. , and Kahneman, D. (1996). "Patients' memories of painful medical treatments: Real-time and retrospective evaluations of two minimally invasive procedures, " Pain, 116: 3 -8.
How to apply this to changework ü End sessions with compliments or pleasant topics ü Or at the very least, neutral topics and emotional tones
Being in a More Positive Mood Helps Learning and Performance Two studies show that focusing on or creating pleasant experiences enhances our learning or performance abilities. • Kids who were asked to spend 30 seconds remembering happy things did better on learning tasks they were given just after remembering the happy stuff. • Internists who were given some candy (vs. reading humanistic statements about medicine and a control group) did better at diagnosing a hard-to-diagnose case of liver disease. References: Masters, J. , Barden, R. and Ford, M. (1979). "Affective states, expressive behavior, and learning in children, " Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37: 380 -390 Isen, A, Rosensweig, A. and Young, M. (1991). "The influence of positive affect on clinical problem solving, " Medical Decision Making, 11: 221 -227.
Caveats and Challenges ü Much of this research is new and preliminary ü Some of it is correlational and some of it is experimental ü Much of is not done by and for clinicians or pointed toward practical uses, so it takes some translation ü We will have to wait to find out what really works in clinical settings
There are some benefits of happiness Happy people: • Are half as likely to die over the same time period as others Danner, D. D. , Snowdon, D. A. & Friesen, W. V. (2001). “Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings from the Nun Study, ” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80: 804 -813. Diener, Ed and Seligman, Martin. (2002). “Very happy people, ” Psychological Science, 13: 81 -84. • • Half as likely to be disabled Live longer than average Have better health habits Have lower blood pressure Have more robust immune systems Are more productive on the job Are able to tolerate more pain
There even seem to be economic benefits to happiness Cheerful college students ended up earning $25, 000 more per year than their dour counterparts. King, Laura and Lyubomirsky, Sonja. (2005). “The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? ” Psychological Bulletin, 131: 803 -855.
Happiness and longevity Happiness both seems to prevent people from falling ill and reduce stress (which is associated with inflammation, which is associated with chronic and acute illnesses) Happiness is also associated with better health habits, which likely is a factor in the longevity of happy people Veenhoven et al. (2008). “Healthy happiness: effects of happiness on physical health and the consequences for preventive health care, ” Journal of Happiness Studies, 9(3): 449. Siahpush, M, Spittal M, Singh GJ. (2008). “Happiness and life satisfaction prospectively predict self-rated health, physical health, and the presence of limiting, long-term health conditions, ” American Journal of Health Promotion, 23(1). Moskowitz, J. T. (2003). “Positive affect predicts lower risk of AIDS mortality, ” Psychosomatic Medicine, 65: 620 -626. Danner, D. , Snowdon, D. and Friesen, W. (2001). “Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings in the nun study, ” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80: 804 -813.
Happiness is relatively ü One year after winning the lottery or becoming stable quadriplegic, people’s happiness level return to where they were before the drastic change of circumstance (Happiness Set Point; genetically influenced but not fixed) Brickman, P. ; Coates, D. ; and Janoff-Bulman, R. (1978). “Lottery winners and accident victims: Is happiness relative? ” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36: 917 -27. ü There are some things that seem to permanently increase happiness levels ü People are generally pretty bad at predicting what will make them happy
Estimates of contributors to happiness and where we can influence happiness levels
Haidt’s Formula H = S + C + V H = your general happiness level S = your happiness set point C = your life conditions V = your voluntary activities Haidt, Jonathon. (2006). The Happiness Hypothesis. NY: Basic.
Happiness is challenging "The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. ” –Benjamin Franklin
Problems with deliberately pursuing happiness ü We are bad at predicting what will make us happy • We overestimate the negative effects of bad stuff • We overestimate the lasting happiness/satisfaction that will result from good stuff ü Our preferences change ü Habituation/the hedonic treadmill
But all is not lost; one can increase happiness (but not directly) Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. –Aldous Huxley
What does help increase happiness in the longer term?
Four Keys to Unlock Happiness S. O. A. P. üSocial Connections üOptimism üAppreciation (Gratitude) üPurpose (greater than oneself)
S. O. A. P. Social Connections and Happiness
Two kinds of social connections ü One-to-one: friendships; pets; marriage; intimate partnerships; child-parent ü Group/community connections: neighborhoods, interest groups, church communities, professional or work groups, groups of friends, sports teams, military units, support groups and so on
Common Factors research ü Therapy is successful about 68% of the time ü When it is successful, research has indicated that there are four common factors to its success ü These are: ü Client factors: The person’s strengths, resources, social supports, environments and the type (frequency, intensity, and duration) of the complaints they have ü The therapeutic relationship: How engaged and connected is the client in therapy? A therapist who is perceived by the client as warm, empathic, genuine, trustworthy, non-judgmental and respectful contributes to developing a positive alliance. ü Expectancy, hope and placebo: The therapist’s optimism, confidence and sense of hope make a difference. ü Theory/technique: What procedures and model therapist is guided by or uses. How much therapist has allegiance to his/her model and methods. Lambert, M. J. (1992). Implications of outcome research for psychotherapy integration. In J. C. Norcross & M. R. Goldfried (Eds. ), Handbook of psychotherapy integration (pp. 94 -129). New York: Basic
Common Factors in Therapy 15% Model/Technique 15% Expectation/Placebo 40% Client Factors 30% Relationship
Social connections and Countless studies document the link between society happiness and psyche: people who have close friends and confidants, friendly neighbors, and supportive coworkers are less likely to experience sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, and problems with eating and sleeping. The single most common finding from a half century's research on the correlates of life satisfaction, not only in the United States but around the world, is that happiness is best predicted by the breadth and depth of one's social connections. Putnam, Robert D. 2000. Bowling alone: the collapse and revival of American community. New York: Simon & Schuster, p. 332)
Relationships “By far the greatest predictor of happiness in the literature is intimate relationships. ” – Sonja Lyubomirsky, researcher at UC-Riverside, author of The How of Happiness
• Connection can help reduce Being with someone else during an earthquake is PTSD protective against PTSD Armenian, H. et. Al. (2000). “Loss as a determinant of PTSD in a cohort of adult survivors of the 1998 earthquake in Armenia: Implications for policy, ” Acta Psychiatr. Scand. , 102(1): 58 -64. • Post-traumatic stress disorder sufferers in group treatment recovered at a significantly higher rate (88. 3%) than those in individual treatment (31. 3%) Beck, J. et. al. (2009). “Group Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Chronic Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: An Initial Randomized Pilot Study, ” Behavior Therapy, 40(1): 8292.
Positive social talk matters • The amount and type of parental talk to infants varied between disadvantaged families and those who had higher incomes and education • Disadvantaged parents generally talked less than advantaged (10 million words vs. 80 million words) • Disadvantaged parents directed more “discouragements” (no; shut up; stop) to their kids (200, 000 vs. 80, 000 “encouragements” [chit chat; positive comments; gossip; joking; running commentary; praise]) • Advantaged parents had a reversal of this ratio (500, 000 encouragements to 80, 000 discouragements) • It turns out that these differences have profound and hard to reverse effects on intellectual and academic achievement (vocabulary growth and standardized intellectual achievement tests measured at ages 3 and 9) Hart, B. and Risley, T. (1995). Meaningful Differences in the Everyday
Social connections are at risk in modern societies Shared family dinners and family vacations are down over a third in the last 25 years Having friends over to the house is down by 45% over the last 25 years Participation in clubs and civic organizations is down by over 50% in the last 25 years Church attendance is down by about a third since the 1960 s Putnam, Robert D. (2000). Bowling Alone: The collapse and revival of American community. New York: Simon & Schuster. See also: http: //www. bettertogether. org/
Social connections are at risk in modern societies 65% of Americans spend more time with their computers than with their spouses Kelton Research, the "Cyber Stress" study, Digital Home Services, Parks 2007
Happiness and social connections • People with five or more close friends (excluding family members) are 50% more likely to describe themselves as “very happy” than respondents with fewer. • One survey of 800 college alumni showed that classmates who valued high income, job success and prestige more than close friends and a loving marriage were twice as likely to be “fairly” or “very” unhappy.
Relatedness and happiness research finding ü Most of us are happier during the weekends ü Why? üRelatedness üAutonomy üResearchers randomly beeped 74 adults aged 18 -62 over 3 weeks and asked them to rate how they felt, how close they felt to others they were with and whether they felt competent and autonomous Ryan, R. M. , Bernstein, J. H. , & Brown, K. W. (2010). “Weekends, Work, and Wellbeing: Psychological Need Satisfactions and Day of the Week Effects on Mood, Vitality, and Physical Symptoms. ” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 29, 95 -122.
Connective rituals A review of 50 years of research (32 studies) on family rituals showed that regular routines had a positive effect on health and family relationships Common routines/rituals: üDinnertime üBedtime üChores üTalking on the phone üVisiting with relatives üBirthdays üHolidays üFamily reunions üFunerals üReligious rituals and services Fiese, Barbara H. ; Tomcho, Thomas J. ; Douglas, Michael; Josephs, Kimberly ; Poltrock, Scott; and Baker, Tim. (2002). "A Review of 50 Years of Research on Naturally Occurring Family Routines and Rituals: Cause for Celebration? , " ; Journal of Family Psychology, Vol. 16, No. 4.
Positive psychology research on relationships
Relevant research üHappily married couples say 5 positive remarks for every negative remark, even when having conflicts üCouples who are headed for divorce use less than 1 (0. 8) positive remarks for every negative one Source: Gottman, J. , Gottman, J. And De. Claire, J. (2006). 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. NY: Crown.
Infidelity/fidelity and positive interactions in relationships Couples with a 2. 4 to 1 ratio of positive interactions (nodding, smiling, eye contact) to negative (eye rolling, scowling, expressing contempt) were more likely to experience infidelity after being married than couples with a 4 to 1 positive to negative interaction ratio Allen, E. , et. al. (June 2008). “Premarital Precursors of Marital Infidelity, ” Family Process, 47(2): 243 -259.
S. O. A. P. Optimism and Happiness
Optimism and Happiness What we can learn from some psychotically optimistic dogs
Pessimistic vs. Optimistic Styles Pessimistic explanatory style Bad stuff is: Permanent and will persist; Pervasive; Out of my control Reflects: My resourcelessness; Bad qualities (“I’m such a loser”)
Pessimistic vs. Optimistic Styles Optimistic explanatory style Bad stuff is: Time and context limited (“I am just going through a rough patch”; or “This job sucks”); Under my influence I possess good and resourceful qualities
Optimism can be increased Optimistic and pessimistic styles and tendencies are relatively stable traits, but they can be affected by actions and changed focus of attention One study found that even naturally pessimistic people who spent one week doing exercises in which they either: • Identified and wrote down times in the past in which they were at their best • Wrote down their personal strengths • Expressed gratitude to someone they had never properly thanked • Wrote down three good things that happened that day Were happier when their happiness levels were measured 6 months later Seligman, M. , Stern, T. , Park, N & Peterson, C. (2005). “Positive Psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions, ” American Psychologist, 60: 410 -421.
Creating or restoring hope Rehabilitating or inviting people into preferred, compelling positive futures
BE THERE THEN “There is a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windhield. ” –Sign on a church in Winnipeg, Canada
FUTURE PULL: The Victor Frankl Strategy
Elspeth Mc. Adam – Evoking . . . A young girl I was working with had experienced Hope as a very large abuse. She walked into my office girl with shaved hair, tattoos on her head, and I don't think she had showered in a week. I had been asked to see her because she was so angry. She clearly didn't want to come and see an expletive shrink. She was very angry at being there. I just said to her, 'You've talked to everybody about your past. Let's talk about your dreams for the future. ' And her whole face just lit up when she said her dream was to become a princess. In my mind I could not think of two more opposite visions–but I took her very seriously. I asked her about what the concept of princess meant for her.
Evoking Hope She started talking about being a people's princess who would do things for other people, who would be caring and generous and a beautiful ambassador. She described a princess who was slender and well dressed. Over the next few months, we started talking about what this princess would be doing. I discovered that, while this girl was 14 and hadn't been attending school for a long time, the princess was a social worker. I said, 'Okay it is now ten year's time and you have trained as a social worker. What university did you go to? ' She mentioned one in the north of England. I asked, 'What did you read [study] there? ' She said, 'I don't know, psychology and sociology and a few other things like that. ' Then I said, 'Do you remember when you were 14? You'd
Evoking Hope She said, 'I had this psychiatrist who helped me. ' I said, 'How did she help you? ' And she started talking about how we made a phone call to the school. I said, "Who spoke? Did you or her? ' She replied, 'The psychiatrist spoke but she arranged a meeting for us to go to the school. ' I said, 'Do you remember how you shook hands with the head teacher when you went in? And how you looked and what you wore? ' We went into these minute details about what that particular meeting was like –looking from the future back. And she was able to describe the conversations we had, how confident she had been, how well she had spoken, and the subjects she had talked about. I didn't say any more about it.
Elspeth Mc. Adam About a month after this conversation she said to me, 'I think it's about time we went to the school, don't you? Can you ring and make an appointment? ' I asked if she needed to talk about it anymore and she said no, that she knew how to behave. When we went into the school she was just brilliant. I first met that girl ten years ago. Now she is a qualified social worker. She fulfilled her dream– although she didn't go to the university she mentioned.
Future-Orientation Research • Participants in a study were asked to write down their ideal future, in which all had gone well and they had met their desired hopes and goals, for a few minutes on 4 consecutive days (“Best possible self”) • Control groups were asked to write about a traumatic event that had happened to them for those minutes on 4 days; another was asked to write about life goals as well as a trauma; another control group was asked to write about their plans for the day on those 4 days • Results: The “future-oriented” group reported more subjective well-being after the experiment than the controls; the trauma and “future-oriented” groups both had less illness when followed up 5 months later King, L. A. (2001). “The health benefits of writing about life goals, ” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27: 798 -807.
Howard Lutnick, CEO Cantor Fitzgerald Lost his brother, his best friend and 658 of his employees in the 9/11 attacks We always thought we’d fall apart at some point. I’d tell people it was like surfing in front of a very large wave and as long as I kept going forward as fast as I possibly could, the wave would never get me. But if I ever stopped, and took a moment to look back. . . Whoosh, the wave would crash over me, and I’d get crushed. But if I kept moving forward, the wave would get smaller and smaller, and that’s what happened. (Fall 2006)
FUTURE PULL METHODS Problems into preferences
Problems into Preferences Rephrase from what is unwanted to what is desired
Problems into Preferences Reflections: Not questions but restatements (with a twist)
Problems into Preferences Redirect from the past to the future
Problems into Preferences Suggest small increments instead of big leaps
Problems into Preferences Mention the presence of something rather than just the absence of the problem
FUTURE PULL METHODS Positive expectancy talk
Positive expectancy Nonverbal and verbal methods of seeding a positive and hopeful future
Positive expectancy Verbal is easier to teach and speak about
Positive Expectancy Talk üYet, so far üBefore üAfter üWhen üHow quickly?
FUTURE PULL METHODS Letter from The Future
Letter From The Future • Have the client write a letter from their future self to their current self from a place they are happier and have resolved the issues that are concerning them now • From [five years/two months/ten years/one year] from now; let your intuition and their response guide the time frame; adjust as necessary • Have them describe where they are, what they are doing, what they have gone through to get there, and so on • Have them write about the crucial things they realized or did to get there or write about some crucial turning points that led to this future • Give themselves some sage and compassionate
Letter From The Future Use these questions to guide their letter writing: • What have you learned and gained perspective on since back in [fill in the present date/year]? • What things were you worried or frightened about in those days that seem trivial or far away for you today? • What problems seemed overwhelming or insurmountable in those days that you did eventually resolve or overcome? • What sage advice would your future self give to that present self? • What comfort or reassurance would your future self give to your present self? • Who were you troubled by, frightened by or concerned with that now doesn’t matter as much?
S. O. A. P. Appreciation and Happiness
Three Aspects of Appreciation 1. Highlighting Gratitude to Oneself: Note to oneself things that one can be grateful for on a weekly basis 2. Savor: Note to oneself or others what one appreciates aesthetically, like a beautiful sunset, a good meal, and so on 3. Expressing Gratitude to Others: Express appreciation to those people one values and is grateful to
Appreciation Awe Gratitude Thankfulness Recognizing grace (unearned blessings) Showing and expressing appreciation to others Mindfulness Savoring
Gratitude/Appreciation Research ü Expressing gratitude has a short-term positive effect (several weeks) on happiness levels (up to a 25% increase) ü Those who are typically or habitually grateful are happier than those who aren’t habitually grateful Park, N. Peterson, C. and Seligman, M. (2004). “Strengths of character and well-being among youth, ” Unpublished manuscript, U. of Rhode Island.
Appreciation/Gratitude Research 1 People who noted weekly the things they were grateful for increased their happiness levels 25% over people who noted their complaints or were just asked to note any events that had occurred during the week. Emmons, R. A. , & Mc. Cullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377 -389
Gratitude Letters ü In research studies, both initiator and recipient of a gratitude letter report positive outcomes. ü Instructions: Write a gratitude letter to a person you choose, expressing your gratitude and for what and why, specifically, you are grateful. ü If at all possible, deliver it personally and ask the person to read the letter in your presence. ü If personal delivery is not possible, mail, fax, or email the letter and follow up with a phone call. Source: Chris Peterson, A Primer in Positive Psychology
The Gratitude Exercise At the end of each day, after dinner and before going to sleep, write down three things that went well during the day. Do this every night for a week. The three things you list can be relatively small or large in importance. After each positive event on your list, answer in your own words the question: “Why did this good thing happen? ” This exercise was found to increase happiness and decrease depression up to 6 months after the week. [Note: 60% of participants carried on the habit. ] Seligman, M. ; Steen, T. A. ; Park, N. ; and Peterson, C. (2005). “Positive psychology
S. O. A. P. Purpose/meaning and Happiness
Elements of the Meaningful Life ü Purpose ü Contribution ü Engaging work or activities ü Finding meaning in suffering ü Turning negative or hurtful events into happiness or satisfaction with positive connotations or meaning
The Meaningful Life and Happiness Several studies with older Americans find that one of the best predictors of happiness is whether or not a person thinks his or her life has a purpose. If they had no such sense of purpose, seven out of ten people studied felt unsettled about their lives; if they had a sense of purpose seven out of ten felt satisfied. Lepper, H. (1996). In Pursuit of Happiness and Satisfaction in Later Life: A Study of Competing Theories of Subjective Well-
The Meaningful Life and Happiness College students who enjoyed their lives and studies were compared to those who didn’t. The main difference was that those students who were happier had an underlying sense of purpose in life. Rahman, T. and Khaleque, A. (1996). “The purpose in life and academic behavior problem students, ” Social Indicators Research, 39: 59.
How to apply this to changework • Help people find their life directions, meaning and purpose by helping them identify the signal(s) that drive them • Help people find activities that contribute to others or the world
Positive emotions help resilience Fredrickson, B. L. , Tugade, M. M. , Waugh, C. E. , & Larkin, G. (2003). What good are positive emotions in crises? : A prospective study of resilience and emotions following the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11 th, 2001. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 365 -376.
People are often more resilient than we therapists give them credit for Expected rates of PTSD following 9/11 didn’t materialize “Resilience is often the most commonly observed outcome trajectory following exposure to a potentially traumatic event. ” There is a whole literature on Post-traumatic Growth and Resilience G. A. Bonanno, C. Rennicke and S. Dekel, (2005) “Self-enhancement among high-exposure survivors of the September 11 th Terrorist Attack: Resilience or Social Maladjustment? ” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88: 984 -988. Bonanno, G. A. et. al, (2002) “Resilience to Loss and Chronic Grief: A prospective study from preloss to 18 -months postloss, ” Journal of Social Issues, 83: 1150 -64. Tedeschi, R. G. and Calhoun, I. G. (2004) “Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence, ” Psychological Inquiry, 15: 1 -18. Linley, P. A. and Joseph, S. (2004) “Positive Change Following Trauma and Adversity: A review, ” Journal of Traumatic Stress, 17: 11 -21. Carver, C. S. (1998) “Resilience and Thriving: Issues, models and linkages, ” Journal of Social
Wounded I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work and my God. Helen Keller Real suffering burns clean; neurotic suffering creates more and more soot. - Marion Woodman
3 Pillars of Positive Psychology ü Positive subjective experience of the past, present and future ü Investigation of positive individual characteristics: the strengths and virtues ü Positive institutions and positive communities Source: M. Seligman, in Flourishing, ed. by Keyes and Haidt
Four Key Findings S. O. A. P. üSocial Connections üOptimism üAppreciation (Gratitude) üPurpose (greater than oneself)
The Three Legs of Happiness ü Someone to love ü Something to do ü Something to look forward to -Martin Sexton
Best Summary Books ü Martin Seligman, Authentic Happiness ü Chris Peterson, A Primer in Positive Psychology ü Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness ü Eric Weiner, The Geography of Bliss ü Dan Gilbert, Stumbling On Happiness
Resources Journal of Happiness Studies www. authentichappiness. org www. pos-psych. com www. ppc. sas. upenn. edu www. bus. umich. edu/Positive www. viastrengths. org www. centreforconfidence. co. uk www. psych. uiuc. edu/~ediener people. virginia. edu/~jdh 6 n www. faculty. ucr. edu/~sonja 89. 234. 4. 50/cappeu/index. aspx
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