EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Managing Me Motivating Me Managing Others

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: Managing Me Motivating Me Managing Others Psychologist, Bruce Christopher www. bcseminars. com

I wonder what is the real purpose of these feelings I am feeling?

Why don’t people talk about their Emotions at work?

What is an Emotion and Why am I so Emotional? The anatomy of an emotion Once upon a time, I was walking in the forest. . . And I came upon a Big, Bad, ----- or

An Emotion, then, is really a Signal to take: ACTION! _____________________ That’s why it’s called an E--Motion

So, what this really means is. . . “We are saber-toothed tigers with cell phones. ”

Our Emotions Sometime get the Best of us. . . but how can we handle Them?

The Hardest One of All. . .

TOOLS: Get a Grip on Anger 1. Postponing 2. Finding the Triggers 3. Mixing Pleasantness with Anger – The Oil & Water Effect

4. Re-labeling your Anger -The Iceberg Principle er ng A d 2 n Why? The Primary Feelings

5. Re-aligning your Expectations – The 999 Rule Expectations Reality

5 c Really Really 999 RULE 99. 9% IMPORTANT

All Behavior Reason-Enabled. All Behavior isis Reasonable.

The third step To becoming A super-star: What does a marshmallow have to do with success? Introducing: Your Reticular Activating System!

The Goal The Temptation Buy a new house The Mall of America Train your Brain Visualize: ØThe kitchen ØLiving room ØEntertaining ØR. O. I Remember, your brain maximizes Pleasure And minimizes Pain. . . Through visualization, make it more PAINFUL to not achieve your goal than it is to give into the temptation!

How good are you at “Reading Other People”?

What you are doing is shouting So loud at me, that I can’t hear What you are saying! WORDS NONVERBALS TONE

A Quick Quiz on Empathy: Find the Empathy-Response 1. “I remember when I lost my cat too. We couldn’t find her for days. I was just so upset. ” 2. “Don’t worry, things aren’t so bad. After all, behind every cloud is a silver lining. ” 3. “Oh you poor thing! I am sooooo sorry this happened to you! Look, I brought you some hot dish. Now you just eat up and you’ll feel better. ” 4. “That waiter was so mean to you. Why if I were you, I’d complain to the manager. You shouldn’t let people walk all over you!” 5. “So, you’re feeling exhausted because of your hard day at work, right? ”

Emotions are always. . .

1. Project _______ The art of mirroring: “We must be the change we wish to see. ” Ghandi 2. R_______ eflect The art of Empathy: “Reflecting back with Understanding”

3. Perspect _____ The art of providing alternative perspectives Or, the Big Picture: “Another way to look at this might be. . . ” 4. elect S_____ The art of facilitating Choices and creative. Problem-solving: “What are some other Ideas we can think of. . . ”

Now playing, Bruce is At Circuit City! How could Bruce have Emotionally Managed himself more effectively? How could the manager have Emotionally Managed Bruce more effectively?

People Show up for you, according to your perceptions of them. . .

The Power of the Perception & The Power of the Message: The impact of a label on self-esteem and performance. 1. What did you see from the “UP” group? 2. What did you see from the “DOWN” group? 3. How does the teacher get the students to believe her?