Developing Emotional Intelligence and Leadership A Training Program

Developing Emotional Intelligence and Leadership A Training Program Designed to Improve Emotional Intelligence and Leadership for School Leaders Dr Helen Kalaboukas and

Program Overview n Session 1 ¨ Emotional Intelligence (EI) & Leadership ¨ Self Directed Change and the “Ideal Self” n Session 2 ¨ Developing Leadership ¨ Optimal Performance ¨ The Five Discoveries n Session 3 ¨ Becoming a Resonant Leader ¨ Developing the Emotional Reality of Teams ¨ Creating Sustainable Change

Session 1: The “Ideal Self” Master Plan or Fifteen years from Now You in Five, Ten ¨ Living your “ideal life” ¨ Developing a Vision - free writing/talking about this vision ¨ What kind of people around you? ¨ What kind of environment? ¨ A typical day or week The “Ought” versus the “Ideal” Self ¨ Exploring and linking learning goals with dreams and aspirations about the future

The Ever – Changing Ideal n A Personal Ideal Vision/Image ¨ A guide for our decisions ¨ A barometer of our sense of satisfaction in life n A Leader’s Shared Vision for the Organization ¨ In tune with the others’ vision ¨ To be open to others’ hopes and dreams

Homework: 1. What are your Core Values in each of the following arenas of your life? ¨ Physical health ¨ Family ¨ Relationships ¨ Work ¨ Spirituality 2. Make a List 1 -27 All the things you want to do or experience in life

Some questions for discussion 1. Best leaders in the world n 2. Nurture over Nature n 3. Who is the leader you admire? Are leaders born or made? What is leadership? n Leadership is …. .

Testing for Leaders Psychologist D. Laird found five skills required for leaders: 1. Can you deal with a serious insult without exploding? 2. Can you get through a bad period without being discouraged? 3. Can you laugh together with other people when you are the butt of their laughter? 4. Do you have enough energy to keep going when everything goes wrong? 5. Can you keep calm in emergency situations?

Leaders and Leadership Barns in 1978 first proposed that: : “Leadership is something different from leaders, that is leader traits and behaviours ” “Leadership is the reciprocal process of mobilizing, by persons with certain motives and values, various economic, political and other resources, in a context of competition and conflict, in order to realize goals independently or mutually held by both leaders and followers”

The old and the “emerging” paradigms of L. The old paradigms have focused mainly on n task oriented or relations oriented n directive or participative n autocratic or democratic n related exchange theories The old paradigms of Leadership ignored effects on n leader-follower relations on the sharing of vision, symbolism, imaging, and sacrifice n and the two major factors in Leadership, that is: measuring activity and effectiveness

Leadership and Management. n “The fundamental difference between leadership and management lies in their respective functions for organizations and for society. The function of Leadership is to create change while the function of management is to create stability”. Barker, R. A. (1970)

Leadership and Management cont’es creates new patterns of action n Leadership and new belief systems. n Management protects stabilised patterns and beliefs. n The function of management regarding change is to anticipate change and to adapt to it, but not create it.

The Avolio and Bass Model (MLQ) The Three Leadership Styles 1. Transformational Leadership n Idealised Attributes n Idealised Behaviours n Inspirational Motivation n Intellectual Stimulation n Individual Consideration

MLQ - The three Leadership Styles (cont’es) 2. Transactional Leadership n Contingent Rewards n Management by Exception (Active) n Management by Exception (Passive) 3. Laissez-faire Leadership

The Leadership Repertoire Goleman n Visionary ¨ Moves people towards shared vision ¨ When changes require a new vision or when a clear direction is needed n Coaching ¨ Connects what a person wants with the organization’s goals ¨ To help an employee improve performance by building long-term capabilities n Affiliative ¨ Creates harmony by connecting people to each other ¨ To heal rifts in a team, to strengthen connections, to motivate during stressful times

The Leadership Repertoire – cont’es n Democratic ¨ Values people’s input and gets commitment through participation ¨ To build buy-in or consensus, or to get valuable input from employees n Pacesetting ¨ Meets challenging and exciting goals ¨ To get high-quality results from a motivated and competent team n Commanding ¨ Soothes fears by giving clear directions in an emergency ¨ To kick-start a turnaround, in a crisis or with problem employees

TLQ - The Metcalfe Model 1. Genuine concern for others 2. Political sensitivity and skills 3. Decisiveness, determination, self-confidence 4. Integrity, trustworthy, honest and open 5. Empowers, develops potential 6. Inspirational networker and promoter 7. Accessible, approachable 8. Clarifies boundaries, involves others in decisions 9. Encourages critical and strategic thinking

Developing Shared Leadership in Teams n High levels of trust among members, results in a willingness to sacrifice short term gain for long-term potential n Team members have a solid belief in themselves, the team, and its collective mission n Members readily identify with the team mission and are committed to and inspired by it

Developing Shared Leadership in Teams (cont’es) n Conflict over different perspectives is valid and encouraged, often resulting in profound knowledge development n Each individual considers it his or her responsibility to develop the potential of their associates Goleman, Boyatzis, Mc Kee, Primal leadership 2002

Action Learning Teams and Projects n Must be strategic in nature, multidimensional, ambiguous and new. n There must be active executive-level sponsorship in determining the projects and working with the teams. n Teams must work on the projects creating a healthy climate, maintaining functional norms, using EI, dealing with conflict, focussing on learning rather than achievement, and so on.

Action Learning Teams and Projects (cont’es) n The process of learning needs to be examined, and this examination needs to be expected as part of the outcome. n The projects need to be highly visible. n Resources must be dedicated to the teams, and in particular people need to be released, to some extend, from normal duties to work on the projects. Goleman, Boyatzis, Mc Kee, Primal Leadership 2002

Learning Styles n Learn by modelling / Model building n Learn from past experience / Concrete experience n Learn from theory / Reflection n Learn by experimenting / Trial – and – error learning

A Transformational Leader n “Thomas J. Watson, Sr. laid the foundation for decades of success at IBM by providing a vision that the company must provide the best service for the customer for IBM to prosper. This vision was reinforced in recruiting, reward and training systems throughout many years and helped to provide a common focus of excellence for the company”. Robert T Keller, professor of Management, University of Houston, Texas

Work in Groups: 1. Choose three leaders and identify their styles and practices. 2. Action Learning Teams to start working on developing ground rules and a vision and mission. 3. Keep working on your “Ideal Self” Master Plan

Developing an Emotional State Participants to experiment with emotions and emotional states n Choose an emotional state: e. g. confident, resolved, easy-going, content n Practice “I feel powerful/successful” and “I feel sad” n Rate the emotion from 1(not at all) to 10 (most I’ve ever felt) n Then change body posture and repeat

Developing Co-coaching Participants to find a co-coach and work on n Forming a trusting and confidential relationship n Encouraging EI development n Practicing new learning n Supporting achievement n Reviewing performance

Work in pairs: n You are very angry. The phone rings. You are expecting a very important phone call. What do you do? n During a brief meeting with the boss, Tom was told that his position has being eliminated. (Role-play)

Creating a Resourceful State n Remember a moment when you felt “I can do anything” or “I feel very healthy” n Relieve the experience n Choose your anchor and or a “key word” n Aim to retain this emotion/state for a day n Keep practicing until you can easily access as needed

Transferring a Resourceful State in 7 steps 1. Identify the “current situation” and the “goal” you want to achieve 2. Choose the “resourceful state” that can transfer you to the “goal” 3. Find a past experience with this state. 4. Make a circle in front of you and step into in order to associate

Transferring a Resourceful State (cont’es) experience fully in the way you want to 5. Relive the by focussing on ¨ What happens when you feel this? ¨ What do you see, hear, smell, taste? ¨ What do you tell yourself? 6. Step out and find a physical anchor to elicit the state. Step back into the circle again and again to amplify the state further. Refresh your anchor 7. Step out and find a key word (e. g. “go”). Step back into the circle again together with the anchor and the key word. Repeat 5 -8 times.

The ABCs of Emotions n A is for an Activating event n B is for Belief or thought n C is for the emotional Consequence

The ABCs of Emotions – C. Stough be many different types of As n There can such as a person, an action or an environmental event n B’s can be your thought processes or beliefs and can irrational n C’s are the emotions as a consequence to your interpretation or your beliefs associated to the activated event n Examine the connections between ABC when you feel an emotion you don’t want

ERE – Development Options n DON’T try to become more emotional at work, this is not what this dimension is all about n Become more conscious, in general, of your emotions at work n Consider how you feel and the appropriateness of your emotions in comparison to the situation causing them n Try to become more conscious of the accuracy with which you are conveying how you feel to others at work n Is your body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc, appropriate or being conveyed in a professional manner?

UE – Development Options n Start paying attention to the emotions of others, their body language, facial expression, tone of voice – nuances and subtleties n Consider the reasons why people are displaying certain emotions at work and the appropriateness of their emotions in comparison to the level at which they are displayed n Attend to the emotional overtone of workplace environments, staff meetings, etc

UE – Development Options (cont’es) way people react when you are n Watch the trying to build rapport with them n Observe the way people behave emotionally with each other, to what extend do they get along and so on n Identify the “stars” in your workplace. Start paying more attention to the ways they interact with others?

EDC – Development Options n Consider how you feel about different options when decision making at work and about how those choices may affect both you and others on an emotional level n Listen to your “gut feelings” or intuitive thoughts and weigh them up against the facts or technical knowledge you have in front of you n Think back on a decision you made based on analyzing facts but not taking into consideration your feelings about that decision n Try not to make decisions on the basis of your feelings or rational thoughts alone, but incorporate both in your planning and actions

EM - Development Options n Be more aware of pessimistic thoughts and negative feelings and try to consider them in a more objective and less emotional way n Use more optimism and look for positive affirmation in both your own and your colleagues/subordinates daily work and achievements n Try not to let weakness and/or failures get you or others “down” and promote them as something to learn from and as a developmental opportunity - “TRANSFORMATION” n Foster positive emotions in the workplace by providing encouraging feedback to others, acknowledging achievements and showing appreciation

EC - Development Options n Stop and think what is causing strong emotions at work, identify the issues and /or problems n Establish “calming techniques” when strong emotions arise e. g. counting to 10, controlled breathing, taking a walk or a short break, etc n Looking after yourself, physical exercise, meditation, yoga, ti-chi, etc. some organizations offer such classes as a stress reliever Prof. C. Stough

Common Errors in Thinking n Discounting positive information n Jumping to a negative conclusion n Going beyond the facts ¨ Using absolutes to describe events ¨ More dire than justified ¨ Faulty prediction ¨ Invalid allocation of responsibility ¨ Invalid conclusions about motives ¨ Using only dichotomous categories ¨ And many more

The EI Leader’s Competencies – Goleman ¨ Self awareness ¨ Emotional self-awareness ¨ Accurate self-assessment ¨ Self confidence ¨ Self-management ¨ Self-control ¨ Transparency ¨ Adaptability ¨ Achievement ¨ Initiative ¨ Optimism

The EI Leader’s Competencies (cont’es) Awareness ¨ Social ¨ Empathy ¨ Organizational Awareness ¨ Service ¨ Relationship Management ¨ Inspiration ¨ Influence ¨ Developing others ¨ Change catalyst ¨ Conflict management ¨ Teamwork and collaboration

The EI Leader’s Blueprint n You are a regional sales manager, and your team has not met its current quarterly sales goal. Not pleased with yet another problem quarter, you call a sales meeting, making it clear that everyone must attend. As the fifteen sales people enter the meeting room you…

The EI Leader’s Emotional Blueprint You should include: 1. Identifying how people feel 2. Understanding the reasons for these feelings 3. Using their feelings to direct their thinking 4. Managing to stay open to the data in feelings 5. Use the information to make optimal decisions

Session 2: Developing Leadership Barker (1997) presents a different view of Leadership as a community development process and an alternative to traditional leadership approaches and he points out the differences between: n Managerial training focusing on skills to ¨ Solve problems ¨ Motivate people ¨ Accomplish goals ¨ Minimize uncertainty ¨ Avoid blame for uncontrollable outcomes

Developing Leadership (cont’es) development focusing on n Executive personal traits and characteristics, in developing reflective insight and interpretation and in preparing the manager physically and mentally to cope with ¨ Organizational politics ¨ Unreasonable expectations ¨ Incompatible co-workers and subordinates ¨ Conflicting requirements for action

What Leaders and Managers Do n Building effective teams n Planning and Deciding Effectively n Motivating People n Communicating a Vision n Promoting Change n Creating Effective Interpersonal Relationships Caruso and Salovey (2004)

Goleman - The First Discovery: The Ideal Self – Who do I want to be? n YOU, FIFTEEN (or TEN) YEARS FROM NOW n -where would you be sitting? n -what kind of people would be around you? n -what does the environment looks like and feels like? n -what might you be doing during a typical day? n Just let the image develop and place you in the picture. Don’t worry about the feasibility of creating this kind of ideal life.

Goleman - The Second Discovery The Real Self – Who am I? What are my strengths and gaps? n Uncovering the reality: how do you see yourself and how others see you? n You need to develop an understanding of your leadership strengths and gaps – the differences or similarities between the ideal and the real self.

The Personal Balance Sheet You can develop a SWOT Analysis by working on your: n Strengths n Weaknesses or Areas to Develop n Opportunities n Threats

Goleman - The Third Discovery A Learning Agenda – How can I build on my strengths while reducing my gaps? Goal Setting n Build on strengths n Be a person’s own n Have flexible plans n Have feasible plans, with manageable steps n Have plans that suit a person’s learning style

Know your Learning Style n Concrete Experience: having an experience that allows them to see and feel what it is like n Reflection: thinking about their own and others’ experiences n Model Building: coming up with a theory that make sense of what they observe n Trial-and-error learning: trying something out by actively experimenting with a new approach

Goleman - The Fourth Discovery The Power of Mental Rehearsal: Reconfiguring the Brain n Experimenting with and practicing new behaviours, thoughts, and feelings to the point of mastery. n Four Simple Steps to improve self control and empathy ¨ Step back – listen, don’t jump in. ¨ Let the other person speak ¨ Get some objectivity – ask yourself if there is a reason for your reaction or you are jumping into conclusions? ¨ Ask clarifying questions rather than appear judgmental or hostile n To master a new skill it needs repetition and

Goleman - The Fifth Discovery The Power of Relationships – Developing supportive and trusting relationships that make change possible n Positive groups help people make positive changes n Good coaches will understand the leader’s dilemma from multiple perspectives and will tailor a leader’s development program in an one-on-one relationship: ¨ The individual level – what is going on for that person ¨ The team level – the group dynamics of the executive or staff teams ¨ The organizational level – how all of this fits with culture, systems, and strategy

The SMART Goals Principle n S. Specific - n M. Measurable n A. Acceptable n R. Realizable n T. Timed

Problem Solving - The 3 Abcs Three strategies to use when dealing with a problem are: n A - Alter the situation n A – Avoid the situation n A – Adapt to the situation by b – building resilience c – changing our attitude Different situations will determine the appropriate approach

Altering n implies removing the source of stress by changing something e. g. - assertiveness - organization - planning - time management - delegation

Avoiding n Implies removing oneself from the stressful situation or figuring out how nor to get there in the first place. - walk away - let go - say ‘no’ - delegate - know your limits

Adapting n Involves equipping oneself physically and mentally for stress by: n building resistance and/or n changing our attitudes.

Building Resistance includes: n proper diet n regular exercise n relaxation n taking and/or meditation time for oneself n maintaining n having social supports clear goals and priorities

Changing Our Attitude includes: n looking at underlying self-talk n seeing things through different eyes n “the most important conversations you will ever have are those you have with yourself”

Session 3: METAMORPHOSIS “The Resonant Leader” n The main tasks of a leader are to generate excitement, optimism, and passion as well as an atmosphere of cooperation and trust. n EI Leadership is built from a foundation of selfawareness n Self-awareness facilitates both empathy and selfmanagement and these two in combination allow effective relationship management Goleman 2002

The Resonant Leader Emotional Intelligence can enable leaders to accomplish those fundamental tasks by developing further: n Self-awareness n Self-management n Social awareness n Relationship management

Driving Resonance n Be attuned to how others feel in the moment n Say and do what is appropriate by ¨ calming fears ¨ assuaging anger ¨ joining in good spirits n Sense the shared values and priorities that can guide a group.

Homework Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Leader: n Develop your own Emotionally Intelligent Leadership style by integrating the SUEIT, the Caruso and the Goleman models. n Use the Self-directed learning approach and apply the Goleman’s Five Discoveries to achieve change n For more reading you can visit www. eiconsortium. org

Group Exercise: n Everyone in the team is depressed as you are discussing all the problems on the project that will delay the product launch by two months. The president who said that this is unacceptable, walks into the meeting room. You as the team leader…

Building an Emotionally Intelligent Organization n Discovering the Emotional Reality ¨ Respect the groups values and the organization’s integrity ¨ Slow down in order to speed up ¨ Start at the top with a bottom-up strategy n Visualizing the Ideal ¨ Look inside ¨ Don’t align - Attune ¨ People first, then strategy n Sustaining Emotional Intelligence ¨ Turn vision into action ¨ Create systems that sustain emotionally intelligent practices ¨ Manage the myths of Leadership

Four Levels of Organizational Culture n Non-Transactional ¨ no sense of community and/or cohesion ¨ no core set of values or ideals ¨ decisions are not tied to any precedents ¨ often members not taking responsibility for their actions n Transactional (Corrective) ¨ heavy concentration on eliminating mistakes ¨ emphasis on what people do wrong ¨ little collegial support ¨ high risk avoidance ¨ keeping new ideas to oneself

Four Levels of Organizational Culture n Transactional (Constructive) ¨ things get done through negotiations and contracts ¨ rewards provided to employees ¨ executives provide each other with support and recognition ¨ transactions can be of longer duration ¨ if consistent honouring of agreements, a basis of trust is built n Transformational ¨ core values are easily identified by members ¨ collective focus on building learning potential and performance ¨ members working toward a central mission and/or purpose ¨ symbols and images signify the important values ¨ members trust each other to do what is right and moral ¨ people are comfortable questioning each other

Creating Sustainable Change Goleman n Within an organization, best Leadership programs are designed for culture, competencies and spirit. n They need to follow the principles of self directed change and use a multifaceted approach to the learning and development process by focussing on the individual, the team and the organization.

Creating Sustainable Change (con’es) to include the following: Processes need n A tie-in to the culture and sometimes to culture change in an organization n Seminars built around the philosophy and practice of individual change n Relevant learning about EI competencies – not just business acumen n Creative and potent learning experiences with a purpose n Relationships that support learning, such as learning teams and executive coaching

Homework n Work with your co-coach and develop further your EI Leadership Style n Create a feedback mechanism – how will you know that you are behaving with greater/better EI? n You can prepare a presentation about your progress in the Ideal Self - Master Plan

Conclusions: n What are some of the changes you have achieved ¨ Within yourself? ¨ In your practices as a leader? n What are your plans for the Ideal Self – Master Plan in the next twelve months?

What I have learned so far:

TO ALL PARTICIPANTS A VERY BIG THANK YOU!!!