Dear Mr Bernard We accept the fact we

Dear Mr. Bernard, We accept the fact we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong. What we did was wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal, correct? That’s the way we saw each other at seven o’clock this morning. We were brainwashed. But what we found out is that each one of is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, princess, and criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club

BULLYING FORT ZUMWALT SCHOOL DISTRICT High School Edition

Workshop Objectives n n n n n Understand the role of adults in and the reasons for identifying and managing individuals prone to bullying behaviors Recognize some of the more common myths associated with bullying behaviors Recognize the difference between bullying and other more common forms of student misconduct Recognize the various forms of bullying and what a school can do in response to this destructive behavior Recognize and understand the warning signs of those most susceptible to becoming the victim of a bully Understand the effects of bullying behaviors on the perpetrator, victim and bystander, as well as how to help Recognize and understand the warning signs of those most susceptible to becoming the victim of a bully Determine a way to prevent bullying and educate students and staff in your building Develop a plan for your building

“Can we not teach children, even as we protect them from victimization, that for them to become victimizers constitutes the greatest peril of all, specifically the sacrifice—physical and psychological—of the well-being of other people? And that destroying the life or safety of other people, through teasing, bullying, hitting, or otherwise ‘putting them down, ’ is as destructive to themselves as to their victims. ” Lewis P. Lipsitt Brown University (May 1995)

Why Focus on Bullying? n n n Bullying can cause a negative school climate Bullying is widespread Bullying can negatively have an impact on student attendance rates and academic achievement Bullying can lead to mental health issues well into adulthood (“bullycide”) Non-bullying students may begin to believe there is a lack of control and/or caring by adults in charge Teachers/adults can unknowingly/unintentionally make bullying worse for a victim

Why Focus on Bullying? Missouri Legislation 1. Senate Bill 894 Mandates each Missouri School – District adopt an anti-bullying policy by September 1, 2007 2. Each district’s anti-bullying policy shall require district employees to report anyinstance of bullying of which the employee has first-hand knowledge

Missouri Legislation Bullying is defined as intimidation or harassment that causes a reasonable student to fear for his or her physical safety or property. Bullying may consist of …physical actions (including gestures) …oral or written communication …any threat of retaliation for reporting such acts

District Policy File: JFCF Bullying – For purposes of this policy, bullying is defined as repeated and systematic intimidation, harassment and attacks on a student or multiple students on or off school grounds perpetuated by individuals or groups. Bullying includes, but is not limited to, …physical violence, …verbal taunts, …name-calling, …cyber attacks and put-downs, …threats, …extortion or theft, …damaging property, or …exclusion from a peer group.

If school personnel really want to change the culture of a school they must first change the behaviors of the adults. What are the implications of this statement for your school?

An investment of time… The most effective anti-bullying programs are on-going throughout the school year and are a part of the school’s discipline policies, curriculum and school-wide emphasis on violence prevention.

What does your building need/want? Survey results from Fall ‘ 06

Common Bullying Myths Mc. Grath, Mary Jo. School Bullying – Tools for Avoiding Harm and Liability Corwin Press, 2006.

Myths n #1 – Our school doesn’t have bullies n #2 – Other safety issues are a bigger concern for kids n #3 – Schools should not encourage complaints n #4 – Teachers see everything and respond when bullying takes place n #5 – It’s the outcasts who bully others n #6 – Bullies are tough n #7 – Bullying is a normal part of growing up n #8 – Bullies are not “connected” to their school n #9 – There is no correlation between bullying and acts of violence n #10 – Bullying is not a legal issue, it’s a character issue

Normal Peer Conflict n n n Equal power among participants Happens infrequently Participants will feel remorseful Participants are usually willing to help solve the problem together Equal emotional reaction among participants

Good-Natured Teasing n n n Involves a playful back-and-forth between both parties Is accompanied by a friendly tone of voice and laughter Is accompanied by affectionate gestures or expressions Brings people closer and encourages friendships Sometimes helps to lighten a tense or angry situation Does not lead to physical confrontations

Defining Bullying n n n Usually includes three elements: 1. imbalance of power 2. intent to harm 3. threats of further aggression Aggressive behavior or intentional “harm doing” Behavior continues even when a person shows distress or when the person knows the topic is upsetting to others Repeatedly carried out over time An interpersonal relationship characterized by an imbalance of power (advantage in strength, confidence, status or aggressiveness) Experienced by all ethnic groups, genders, and socioeconomic groups and usually occurs within the same group

Bullying or Good-Natured Teasing?

Targeting Bullying Behaviors

Some school staff believe… n n n Bullying is an inevitable part of growing up The problem is exaggerated It is more of an administrative problem While other staff believe. . . n n n Bullying should always be reported to an adult Victims do not deserve to be harassed or bullied Bullying should be dealt with as a discipline issue

Types of Bullying n n n Emotionalverbal name calling, threatening, taunting, malicious : teasing, spreading nasty rumors Social/Relational: damaging friendships, reputations, or acceptance into a group Cyber(sometimes referred to as techno-bullying): using the Internet or other mobile device to send or display hurtful or intimidating text or pictures Physical: harm to a person’s body by hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, etc. Sexual: inappropriate touching, threatening, or teasing that is sexual in nature Racial: using racial slurs, offensive gestures or making jokes about someone’s cultural traditions or ethnic group

Research indicates… n n n n Bullying is most likely to occur in the lunchroom (83%) or in the classroom (77%) When victims are willing to talk they will usually tell a friend or their mothers Female bully/victims are not as likely to retaliate as male bully/victims High school bullying is most likely to occur in unstructured environments (a “commons” area or between classes) High school students are less likely to report being bothered by bullying High school students have become more adept at avoiding bullies and the locations for such In over 2/3 of 37 school shootings since 1974, the shooter had been “persecuted, bullied, threatened or injured. ”

Bullying on the Bus n n n n n Pecking order related to seats Assaults Taking of belongings and throwing them Intimidation at the bus stop Harassment walking to and from bus Throwing spit wads or other items Degrading the victim Damaging personal property Taking lunch money or food

Bullying in the Cafeteria n n n Saving spots at a table/saying a table is “full” Taking food Exclusion Name-calling when students walk by Taunting other tables

Bullying in the Classroom n n n Making fun of those who respond to teacher’s questions (teacher’s pet) Excluding from small groups/discussion Making fun of answers Belittling Throwing spit wads or other items Damaging personal property

Cyber Bullying n n n n n E-mail Instant messaging Chat rooms Web pages (. com sites: myspace, hateboard, zanga, schoolscandal, facebook, livejournal) Text messaging Digital pictures Blogs Three-way calling attacks (conference calls) On-line impersonation

Examples of Cyber-Bullying n n n n n Sending cruel or threatening messages Posting cruel or threatening messages on a website Creating mean-spirited websites that ridicule others Posting pictures on-line and asking others to “rate” them Taking an unflattering picture of someone Engaging someone in an instant message to reveal private and personal information – and then sending it to others Taking a picture of someone in a restroom or locker room Baiting of/Spying on students Impersonating others by logging in with their passwords or creating new “pages”

Three Key Players n Bully n Victim n Bystander

The Victim

Victim Types Passive* Provocative Anxious n Assertive n Insecure n Poor social skills n Little sense of humor n More confident n Low self esteem n Willing to tease until others retaliate n Dislike of confrontation n Disruptive n Upsets easily n May be learning disabled n *Most common type of victim Reactive Restless n Tease and irritating to others n Easily provoked into conflict n Willing to fight – but they usually lose n

Common Victim Characteristics n n n n Abnormal size and stature—or just different Glasses Intelligence Annoying, according to peers Submissive A non-conformist Special needs Lack of athletic ability Social outcast Transient school history Poor social skills Desire to “fit in” at any cost View themselves as defenseless Wrong place at the wrong time

Warning Signs of Bullying ü ü ü ü Outbursts of temper (which can lead to violence toward others) Symptoms of anxiety Loss of appetite Tearful and unhappy for no apparent reason Difficulty communicating verbally Suicidal (bullycide) Poor school attendance Social withdrawal Afraid or reluctant to go to school Staying close to teachers/adults rather than peers Combative Needing extra money for no apparent reason Depression

Watch for signs in potential victims… ü Unexplained bruises or cuts ü Torn clothing ü Non-specific pain, headaches, abdominal Warning Bullying Ahead pain ü Academic decline ü Withdraws from family or school activities ü Is hungry after school ü Makes a beeline for the bathroom after school ü Is sad, sullen, angry or scared after a phone call or e-mail ü Uses negative language in relation to peers or stops talking about peers altogether

Social Consequences Victims of bullies have a greater tendency to: n n n Exhibit poor self esteem Have poor school attendance Suffer from depression 1 in 13 report suicide attempts in a 12 -month period, a rate which has tripled in the last 20 years n n Achieve less academically Maintain few friends

Thoughts of Violence In a 2001 ABC News/Good Morning America Poll… …in a poll of 500 high school students, students identified the BULLIED, rather than the bully, as a potentially violent classmate …three-quarters said violence is more likely to be acted out by a victim, not a bully

Why Students Don’t Report Bullying n n n n Fear of retaliation/retribution They’re ashamed They believe it’s part of life Being a narc brings further incidents Fear parents will take away computer/phone access (in cyber-bullying situations) Don’t realize resources available to them for assistance Status for some can be bolstered by a student’s ability to remain silent In the past, nothing was done/no one helped

Victim Suggestions Advise victims to do the following: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Avoid the bully Stay in the vicinity of an adult Voice concerns to an adult Don’t react emotionally to the bully Stay near friends Encourage journaling of incidents Be assertive and use “I messages”

The Bully

Bullies in the Making n n n n n Like to have control over others Use others to get what they want Crave attention or social status Can’t “step in someone else’s shoes” Concerned only about themselves Experience harsh, physical and capricious punishment Are disciplined for minor problems Have “significant other” adults who foster feelings of rejection and insecurity Experience little praise or encouragement from home Have disinterested adults at home

Bullies in the Making n n n n Sibling relationships have conflict Parents who frequently fight in front of children Parents/Adults who model cruel and/or aggressive behavior Have adults who make no effort to reduce aggression or other inappropriate behaviors Authoritarian parents who allow for little decision making on the part of children Adults who bombard them with criticism An overwhelming atmosphere of put downs, sarcasm, and criticism

The Bully High school bullies are typically covert, making it more difficult to detect n Often have “henchman” or “worker bees” to do work for them …take an active part but don’t start the bullying …go along because they often fear they would be next n

Understanding the Bully n n Bullying is “arrogance in action”—bullying is not about anger It’s about contempt because of 1. a sense of entitlement 2. an intolerance toward differences 3. a liberty to exclude Contempt is often deeply rooted in attitudes at home, school, and society—and the bully uses this to validate what he/she is doing

Social Consequences Bullies have a greater tendency to: n n n Demonstrate future delinquent behavior Become a school dropout Suffer from depression Engage in future mistreatment of spouse and children Have a conviction for criminal behavior as an adult

The Bystander

The Bystanders Research from one study showed… …peers were involved in some capacity in 85% of bullying …peers reinforced the bullying in 81% of episodes …peers were more respectful and friendly toward the bullies than the targets …peers were active participants in 48% of the episodes n …peers intervened in only 13% of episodes at which they were present

“Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it politic[al]? Vanity asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, politic[al], nor popular—but one must take it because it’s right. ” Martin Luther King Jr.

Bystander Fears Afraid of getting hurt himself n Afraid of becoming a new target himself for defending someone or reporting it n Afraid of doing something that will only make the situation worse n Stepping up may mean standing alone n Better to be in than out n DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO

Description of Bystanders n n n Adults: may not respond because they are not sure of an appropriate response or may not recognize the situation as bullying Bully Supporters: witness and sometimes incite the bully without personally taking part Passive Supporters: often perceived as supportive of the bully because they watch what is happening and do nothing to prevent or intervene; like the bullying but do not display open support Disengaged onlookers: watch and say, “It’s not my problem” Possible defenders: dislike it, think they should help, but don’t Interveners: someone who intervenes on behalf of the victim; students usually are reluctant to do this unless they have been taught an appropriate response by school personnel or parents

Helping the Bystander Need to know you will take the information seriously and confidentially—there must be TRUST n There is no such thing as an innocent bystander n Create a “safe” way to report incidents n

Bystanders and Victims will often experience more pain from bystanders than they do from bullies as they feel betrayed when “friends” don’t stand up for them in front of others

Social Consequences Bystanders have a greater tendency to: n n Have conflicting emotions Become fearful Exhibit indifference Keep repressed feelings of empathy

Stop the Cycle Fear to Apathy to Contempt to Indifference

Bystander Tips Recognize bullying …is it fair? …how does it feel? …does it keep happening? Refuse bullying …reject or say no to bullying Report bullying …can and should be reported—especially if someone is unsafe or if refusing the bullying doesn’t work From bystander to witness: Pay attention, get involved and never look away

Additional Suggestions Advise bystanders to do the following: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Don’t watch—if you believe you can’t intervene walk away and get an adult Don’t react with laughter, giggles or snickers Quiet the rumor by telling the truth and only the truth Offer support to the victim by being a friend in time of need Ask for adult help Understand the difference between being a narc and reporting

Challenge Day

RESPECT What does it mean to you? What does it mean for your building? What does it mean for your students? How can you share the importance of its meaning with your student body?

Code of Conduct Have Respect for All: ü ü ü ü Practice self-control Be true to yourself Give peace a chance Value differences among people See the best in others Say “Please” and “Thank You” Honor age and authority Treat all people with dignity ü Be a part of the solution…not the problem

What can staff do to help? n n n Conference with parents of bullies and victims Notify administration if there is a threat of violence, extortion, child pornography, hate crimes, obscenities, etc. Follow up with victims, bystanders, and bullies at a later date Notify appropriate personnel when you suspect a problem Enforce all relevant policies

What Can Schools Do? n n n n Establish clubs and other extracurricular activities Discourage “indifferent listening” Utilize a character education program Provide early intervention for bullies, victims and bystanders Check to make sure there is adequate adult supervision, particularly during unstructured times during the day Post signs stating the school does not tolerate intimidation or harassment Use faculty meetings to discuss the issues related to bullying Write a code of conduct that supplements the school code of conduct

What Else Can Schools Do? n n n n n Use literature to teach about bullying and spark discussions Choose instructional methods that allow students to work together Post behavioral expectations Involve the community to ensure a widespread awareness Intervene and report immediately: directive for all staff members Encourage counseling of victims, bullies, and bystanders Conduct school-wide assemblies Keep written record of observations, meetings, and actions Make students comfortable so they will report incidents

Suggestions to Offer Parents ü ü ü ü ü Help children develop self confidence Communicate and ask questions Teach empathy Encourage childhood friendships Do not teach aggressive behavior When necessary, intervene Stay involved in the school Talk to teachers and administrators Do not react emotionally Discuss the difference between narcing and reporting

Bibliography and Recommended Reading n Barton, Elizabeth A. Bullying Prevention – Tips and Strategies for School Leaders and Classroom Teachers. Thousand Oaks, California: Corwin Press, 2006. n Bolton, Jose, ed. And Stan Graeve, ed. No Room for Bullies: From the Classroom to Cyberspace— Teaching, Stopping Abuse, and Rewarding Kindness. Boys Town, Nebraska: Boys Town Press, 2005. n Brunner, Judy M. and Dennis Lewis. School House Bullies – Preventive Practices for Professional Educators. Thousand Oaks, California: Corwin Press, 2005. n Beane, Allan L. Bully Free Classroom. Minneapolis, Minnesota: Free Spirit Publishing, 1999. n Beaudoin, Marie-Nathalie and Maureen Taylor. Breaking the Culture of Bullying and Disrespect Grades K-8. Thousand Oaks, California: Corwin Press 2004. n Brunner, Judy M and Dennis Lewis. School House Bullies – Preventative Practices for Professional Educators. Thousand Oaks, California: Corwin Press, 2005. n Coloroso, Barbara. The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School—How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence. New York, New York: Harper Collins, 2003.

Bibliography and Recommended Reading n Mc. Grath, Mary Jo. School Bullying – Tools for Avoiding Harm and Liability. Thousand Oaks, California, Corwin Press, 2006. n Moore, Mona and Stephen James Minton. Dealing with Bullying in Schools – A Training Manual for Teachers, Parents and Other Professionals. Thousand Oaks, California: Corwin Press, 2004. n Rigby, Ken. Stop the Bullying A Handbook for Teachers. Canada: Pembroke Publishers, 2001. n Roberts, Walter B. Jr. Bullying from Both Sides – Strategic Interventions for Working with Bullies and Victims. Thousand Oaks, California: Corwin Press, 2006. n Sullivan, Keith, Mark Cleary and Ginny Sullivan. Bullying in Secondary Schools – What It Looks Like and How to Manage It. Thousand Oaks, California: Corwin Press, 2004. n U. S. Department of Health & Human Services. Bullying is Not a Fact of Life. 2003.