Composition Prose and Rhetoric Examples of Strong Writing

Composition, Prose, and Rhetoric: Examples of Strong Writing from MGT 360 Wayne Smith, Ph. D. Department of Management CSU Northridge ws@csun. edu

Superior, Contemporary Writing • Employ higher-order writing strategies – Always elevate your writing (throughout this class and beyond) – All of the following examples are from my outstanding students • [Technical] Composition – Introductory Sentences, Thesis Statements, Topic sentences, Transition sentences, Contrasts, Emphases, Transition words • [Artful] Prose – Short Sentences, Noun Phrases, Verb Phrases, Adjectives and Adverbs, Prepositions, Conjunctions and Coordination, Dependent Clauses, Sentence Openers and Inversion, Branching Sentences, Appositives, Interrogatories, Exclamatories, Imperatives, Parallelism, Cohesion – Sentence Variety – Length, Passive constructions • [Persuasive] Rhetoric – Quotes, Analogies, Metaphors, Similes, Arguments

Exemplars – Composition – Introductory Sentences • A startling statistic or an unusual fact – “Chuck E. Cheese is…a corporation that provides employment to much older people with limited English. ” • A vivid example – “He routinely yells at his employees and threatens to cut our hours if we don’t work harder. ” • A description or an image – “In my experience, a manager can change the attitudes of many employees by having a certain feature that they carry with them at all times. This feature is always displayed on a manager’s face and can be felt when a manager is motivating the employees. ” – “I have been working there for over a year, and I must admit that I really love what I do. ” • A paradoxical statement – “Bill seemed to be aware that he didn’t obtain his position purely through merit, but he was not an incompetent supervisor. ”

Exemplars – Composition – Introductory Sentences • A quotation or a bit of dialogue – “The phrase, ‘the customer is always right’ is highly used and expected by the customers. ” • A question – What is a company with no policy? • An analogy – “Working for a mother as a babysitter can be just as challenging as being an employer working for a manager with equal responsibilities of dealing with customers as well as having precise time management skills. ” • An anecdote – “Today, a friend and coworker of mine was let go from my job. He was always an ideas person and I was the one doing much of the executing. ”

Exemplars – Composition – Thesis Statements • “It seems that throughout the three years that Tariq has been working for TRUECar, he has not developed himself and has not taken any leadership role in his department. ” • “Customer service is a problem faced by any service industry and this issue is a priority for restaurants because it’s a big part of the restaurant experience for the customer. ” • A thesis statement generally appears in the introductory or opening paragraph. • A thesis statement… – requires further proof or development (not a fact or description), – is an answer to a question (not the question itself), – is neither too broad (not specific enough) nor too narrow (can’t generalize), and – should be sharply focused (avoiding vague terms or fuzzy meanings)

Exemplars – Composition • Topic Sentences – “A management issue that I have to deal with is how the schedule is handled. ” • Transition Sentences – “This is a missed opportunity both in sales and customer service. ” • Contrasts – “[Two of my co-founding] partner’s lack of leadership skills were the inability to listen and reason, which is quite odd because the partner I originally went into this project with was smart, talented, and eager to work at the early stage of the project but all that was a façade. ” – “However, they are doing so effectively but not efficiently. ” • Emphases – “But as time went on, I couldn’t help but notice that this particular situation was just a matter of starting off with a good first impression. ” (emphasis in the original) – “Leadership is the best work of management. ” (emphasis in the original)

Exemplars – Composition – Transition words • Similarity Relationship – “Furthermore, the manager did not provide any benefits such as health insurance. ” (emphasis added) • Difference Relationship – “I thought all the employees they had hired were fashion designers and professionals. However, I later found out they were nonqualified individuals who where looking for jobs. ” (emphasis added) • Temporal Relationship – “Ultimately, we were able to convince him to give customers the sale price on sodas, without any of the required limit…” (emphasis added)

Exemplars – Prose • Short Sentences – “We are a small firm. ” – “The problem was never fully resolved. ” • Noun Phrases – “This is where the burden fell on my shoulders. ” (emphasis added) • Verb Phrases – “This not only allowed the business to get back on track, but also began replenishing my trust in him. ” (emphasis added) • Adjectives and Adverbs – “Service makes a good restaurant amazing. ” – “There is a restaurant. Its look externally is neither fancy nor beautiless. ” • Prepositions – “Of all the experiences, one case came up to my mind instantly. ”

Exemplars – Prose • Conjunctions and Coordination – “The manager approved my idea, and now every week I have the employees and their supervisor sign their report. ” • Dependent Clauses – “I suggested changes that will help the students as a whole and also included a way to advance the skills of the other upcoming and continuing tutors in the program. ” – “My parents, who loved me dearly, wanted to instill a strong work ethic in me when they required me to get a job. ” • Sentence Openers and Inversion – “Yet through all of this, I never complained to any coworker, manager, or any of the bosses. ”

Exemplars – Prose • “Left-Branching” Sentences – “On the rare occasions that they do notify me, they send an email saying a package in my name has arrived. ” – “As I returned to my desk thinking on how mad this client sounded over the phone, I heard screaming coming from the reception area. • “Right-Branching” Sentences – “Throughout my years as a Youth Advisor, the only time that the staff would come together as a whole was in the first fifteen minutes of work to discuss any individual problems that we may have faced the day prior with any of the kids that the staff should know about. ” • Appositives (one noun phrase redefining another, prior noun phrase) – “I faced my most difficult organizational challenge while working for the San Diego Scout Shop, a retail store owned by the Boy Scouts of America. ”

Exemplars – Prose • Interrogatories – “For example, are safety measures taken seriously? Are consequences given for unsafe behavior? Are sanitary regulations kept up-to-date? ” • Exclamatories – “I hate my manager!” • Imperatives – “The burden is now on me to motivate and encourage my students to stay focused and to strive harder than before in order to do better. ” • Parallelism – “Work tasks were monotonous: unchallenging, unrewarding, and unsatisfying. ” – “Managers have many responsibilities, and that includes organizing, motivating, coaching, and staffing. ” • Cohesion – “After working there for another six months since the changes, I resigned. ”

Exemplars – Sentence Variety – Length • Aim, in general, for sentences around 20 words. But vary the sentence lengths. Think of 20 as a “mean”, as it were, for the entire document • Examples from the same student-professional on the same document • Short-length sentences – “We are a small firm. ” • Medium-length sentences – “On the rare occasions that they do notify me, they send an email saying a package in my name has arrived. ” • Long-length sentences – “Customer service is a problem faced by any service industry and this issue is a priority for restaurants because it’s a big part of the restaurant experience for the customer. ”

Exemplars – Sentence Variety – Passive constructions • In general, use active sentences. That is, write sentences where the subject is the clear focus. • But don’t be afraid the use a passive construction for variety. • Also, sometimes it just sounds better and is more pleasant • It’s particular helpful when discussing rules or policies objectively • Just like bold, italics, and underline, use passive constructions sparingly. • Passive construction – “Employees are not permitted to be under the influence or in possession of drugs or alcohol during paid work hours. ”

Exemplars – Rhetoric • Quotes – – “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”—Unknown “All ye abandon hope who enter here”—Dante “You can’t create experience. You must undergo it. ”—Albert Camus “[There will be moments] where fate rarely calls upon us during a moment of our choosing”—Transformers (movie) • Analogies – “During my four years working at this [coffee house], I had to deal with my share of good and bad. Customers wanted their free drink, and management wanted their sales numbers. ” (emphasis added) – “As a business grows, the management team should grow with it. ” (emphasis added)

Exemplars – Rhetoric • Metaphors – “Working in a pizzeria is all the fun that would be expected, but when the dough rises, so does hell. ” (emphasis added) – “Unfortunately, when it rains, it pours. ” (emphasis added) • Similes – “…there is a breakdown in communication between personal goals and overall team goals. When you walk into our [bank] branch, there is the open area with the desks where the bankers sit, and the windows where the tellers stand. Tellers are separated by a “bandit barrier” to help ensure safety. It seems like this barrier has taken a more literal meaning. Everyone who works on the other side of the bandit barrier is completely separated from the open side. Oftentimes, it feels like we’re two separate countries who have become enemies at war. ” (emphasis added) – “Working there felt like walking on eggshells. ” (emphasis added)

Exemplars – Rhetoric – Arguments • Claim – “As a result, I felt harassed and discouraged for most of my time with the company. ” • Reasoning – “In my situation, my value was not based on the quality of my work, but on my failure to socialize. ” • Evidence – “Subsequently, I began to experience a series of negative consequences, [such as]…frequent quality reviews, unprofessional emails, and threats to terminate my employment due to vague reasons. ” • Warrant (Theory) – “In conclusion, management should always try to lead by example and provide all necessary tools for its employees to be successful. ” • Acknowledgement/Response (Counter-argument) – “Initially, I was appreciative and excited of the invitations [to socialize] especially when they were paid by the owner. ” • Qualifications (Limitations) – “Personally, I have had to opportunity to experience both sides of the business, as both an employee and part of the management staff.

References • Most of the categories for the Composition section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Hacker, D. , and Sommers, N. (2011) A Writer's Reference (7 th ed. ), Bedford/St. Martin's, Boston: MA. • A few of the categories for the Composition section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Garner, B. (2013) HBR Guide to Better Business Writing, Harvard Business Review Press, Boston: MA. • The categories for the Prose section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Tufte, V. (2006), Artful Sentences, Graphics Press, Connecticut. • The categories for the Argument section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Williams, J. , and Colomb, G. (2007), The Craft of Argument, 3 rd ed. , Pearson Education.