COHABITATION “Why Buy the Cow, When You Can Get the Milk for Free? ”
The Problem Cohabitation violates the institute of marriage by lacking a true commitment. Cohabitation – Living together in a sexual relationship without being married
Background Leading to the Problem ¬In 1960, of the 52, 799, 000 households, only 439, 000 were unmarried cohabitants as opposed to 104, 705, 000 households in 2000. ¬In the 2000, there were 4, 736, 000 unmarried cohabitants in the United States.
Reasons Given for Cohabitation ¬Economic advantages – “We can save money by sharing living expenses. ” ¬Time together – “We are able to spend more time together. ”
Reasons for Cohabitation (cont. ) ¬Increased intimacy – “We have more opportunities to share sexual and emotional intimacy without getting married. ” ¬Less complicated dissolution – “If the relationship doesn’t work out, there is no messy divorce. ”
Reasons for Cohabitation (cont. ) ¬“Testing” compatibility – “Living together enables us to better learn about each other’s habits and character and see how we operate together day-to-day. ” ¬Trial marriage – “We are planning to marry soon. ”
New Info on Cohabitation ¬ Cohabitation is on the rise for older individuals Reasons: – Avoid loss of financial benefits such as alimony, welfare, or pension checks – Loss of a spouse to death or divorce and fear of losing another spouse – Pain and anger as a result of a divorce
Health Effects of Cohabitation ¬Increased risk of drug abuse ¬Higher risk of physical, emotional, and mental abuse ¬Unstable relationship ¬Higher overall rates of violence among cohabitors. ¬Violent relationship can lead to depression, suicide, homicide, or death.
Possible Solutions ¬ Do Not Cohabitate – Have faith in your relationship – Have high self-esteem ¬ Legal Cohabitation Agreement – Entered into by unmarried person who live together – In agreement, the parties can agree with respect to acquisition, disposition of property upon separation, personal rights, obligation of either party, control of property, etc.
Best Solution ¬ Refrain from Cohabitation – Couples living together have the lowest level of premarital satisfaction when compared to other living arrangements. – Married couples that cohabitated prior to marriage have poorer communication skills in discussing problems than couples that did not cohabitate. – Cohabitating couples are less sexually committed and trustworthy.
Summary v Cohabitation rates increased from 500, 000 in 1970 to 5. 5 million people cohabitating in 2000 v 60 -75% of first marriages preceded by cohabitation v 80 -85% of re-marriages preceded by cohabitation
Summary ¬ Delay of marriage until median age of 25 for females and 27 for males ¬ Concern over continuing high rates of divorce has led to couples seeking a weaker form of union with less commitment to lifelong marriage
Summary ¬Several studies show that cohabitating increases the risk of drug use and physical, mental , and emotional abuse. ¬Overall rates of violence in cohabitating couples were double that of married couples and severe violence was 5 times higher for cohabitors.
Summary ¬Cohabitating couples have lower levels of personal happiness and higher rates of depression than married couples ¬Cohabitors have more negative attitudes about marriage than non-cohabitors.
Summary ¬Do Not Cohabitate – Best solution • Marriages preceded by cohabitation are more likely to end in divorce. • Cohabitation is generally not a good way to prepare for marriage or to avoid divorce. ¬Legal Cohabitation Agreement
“The Bottom Line” ¬ Lack of commitment to marriage – A strong commitment is the basis of marriage. – Cohabitating couples are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy. – Cohabitors are more willing to terminate the relationship. ¬ Inability to make a decision about marriage – Cohabitation reflects uncertainty.
The End Result ¬ Continuing to cohabitate will continue to raise the divorce rate for couples who do get married after cohabitation. ¬ Cohabitation increases the chances of having children out of wedlock. ¬ Ending the cohabitation and divorce will result in single parent homes.
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