Russians cannot get enough of English humor

Russians cannot get enough of English humor. Whether it be a good English sitcom, a joke or a very clever quote, it all shows the brilliance of the English. No one can deny that when it comes to wit, the British variety is cutting edge. With literary geniuses like Shakespeare and George Bernard Shaw, it is impossible not to come up with statements that both display wit and insight. The English are masters of both. Like the rest of their literary masterpieces their brand of humor has a genius all its own.

British humor is displayed in many types of British media, ranging from plays, political quotes, sitcoms, and some really awesome jokes. There is an excellent example of British humor in the form of joke. Here you have two perfect examples of how the English and Scottish love to compete with one another, even in humor.

There was a Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped. The Englishman was thinking: 'The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead. ' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it. ' And the Scotsman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap that English b**tard again.

A guy came to his girlfriend in the evening. They are planning to go somewhere and girl's mother says to guy: - I don't want her to be late this night. Don't walk for too long. Guy answers: - Don't worry, mam. I'll personally put her to bed at 10 p. m.

Jim was speeding along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Eric? " Jim asked. "Well didn't you know, Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back? " said Eric. "Ah, praise God!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

1. What is the longest word in the English language? "Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters! 2. There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away! 3. An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing. " The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing. "

There is information about interesting language phenomena in English humor known as spoonerism and mondegreens.

Спунеризм Перестановка изначальных фонетических элементов двух (или более) слов в одной фразе или предложении. Этот термин получил свое название в честь его преподобия В. А. Спунера Оксфордского, который имел довольно экстраординарную склонность к такой путанице. Из бесчисленных случаев, приписываемых его преподобию, наши любимые: его попытка упомянуть королеву Викторию (Victoria Regina), из которой получилось "our queer old dean" ("наш подозрительный старый декан"), и его упрек в адрес невнимательного студента: "you have tasted the whole worm" ("Вы попробовали целого червя"). Вне связи с юмористическими аспектами, спунеризм – свидетельство психологической реальности фонемы и ясно показывает, что произношение целых фраз и предложений планируется заранее.

Fighting a liar / lighting a fire Flutterby / butterfly You hissed my mystery lecture / you missed my history lecture Cattle ships and bruisers / battle ships and cruisers Nosey little cook / cosy little nook A blushing crow / a crushing blow Tons of soil / sons of toil Our queer old Dean / our dear old Queen We’ll have the hags flung out / we’ll have the flags hung out

Mondegreen a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung.

"Excuse me while I kiss this guy. " "Excuse me while I kiss the sky. " ”There's a bathroom on the right. " "There's a bad moon on the rise. " "The girl with colitis goes by. " "The girl with kaleidoscope eyes. " "Crimean River. " "Cry Me a River. " "Bring me an iron lung. " "Bring me a higher love. " "Mama don't take my clothes 'n' throw 'em away. " "Mama don't take my Kodachrome away. " "You make the best homemade stew around. " "You make the best of what's still around. " "Very close veins. " "Varicose veins. “ "Paper View TV. " "Pay-per-view TV. "

English humor reflects on the best, as well as the ups and downs of life in England. Humor helps us to look at the lighter side of things because life is hard enough as it is.